187. FACE-TO-FACE COMMUNICATION — A

Communication connects, heals, empowers, and enables us to grow to our potential. As we all know, there are many means to communicate at our disposal. However, face-to-face communication will always be one of the most important means. My own communication file includes many ways in which to enhance face-to-face communication. The triptych this week presents gleanings from that file. These gleanings are aimed at enhancing face-to-face communication. This kind of communication enables exchange of information, transfer of meaning, and synergistic transactions for creativity, problem solving, and deeper levels of relationships.

1. There are filters that impact and even distort our exchanges. For example, we instinctively question what motives are involved (theirs and ours), what we think of each other, what our words mean to each other, what the importance of the exchange is, what our state of mind is at the time of the exchange in addition to the type of relationship that we have with each other, including the current level of trust between us. In short, these filters impact the quality of our communication.

(It seems that educated adults use about 2,000 words in daily conversation. Of these, 500 are the most frequently used, and these have 14,000 dictionary definitions. Thus communication as an exchange of meaning is challenging.)

2. The emotional level of the communication shapes impact and effectiveness. We “feel” our face-to-face communications. Therefore, the emotional level shapes the power of the communication. Our emotions in communication inevitably contribute energy to our communications, and when we get congruence in both our thinking and our feeling, we gain effectiveness in our communication.

3. In face-to-face communication, we communicate nonverbally as well as verbally. We are aware of facial expressions, voice tones, posture, and movements. These nonverbal clues tend to shape the verbal exchanges. They can reinforce what is exchanged verbally or they can contradict what is exchanged verbally. To improve our face-to face-communication, it is wise to consciously align what we seek to convey verbally with our nonverbal behavior. (A caution in reading nonverbal clues is we may misread them for a number of reasons including the fact that these clues vary from culture to culture.)

4. In Alfred Fleishman’s Sense and Nonsense: A Study in Human Communication, he reports on a young lad who won an essay contest on “Why I like My Teacher the Best.” He wrote, “She makes me feel like somebody.” Fleishman added, “With this teacher he was in communication.”

Here are some other Fleishman quotes:

“Effective communication … is the lubricant that can prevent friction between human beings.”

“We need to know how we can describe … how we can transmit to others how we feel … what we mean … what we see … what needs to be done or corrected … without in any way attacking their character or insulting their dignity.”

“Most of us know what happens when communications break down. We end up with frustrations, confusion, endless arguments, wrong impressions, hot tempers.”

“The fact is that while most people are interested in what is happening in outer space, they are even more concerned about what’s happening inside their stomach or their head as a result of bad human relations or bad communication.”

Q: To what extent do you practice these guidelines in your communications?

Check out: https://dialogue4us.com.