80. EMPATHY VIGNETTES

In his podcast on communication, Alan Alda acknowledges that he’s got a thing for empathy. In fact, in multiple podcast conversations, he surfaces important insights about empathy. In the following vignettes, I will highlight some of those insights.

· There is a difference between empathy and sympathy.

· There is a difference between suffering with another person and understanding that person’s suffering.

· Empathy involves thinking and feeling.

· Empathy begins with paying attention.

· With empathy there is an awakening that often leads to being in sync with another person.

· Empathy often leads to increased trust.

· Empathy can lead to becoming allies in a journey.

· Sometimes our empathy is evoked in response to the empathy that we receive.

· To be empathetic about someone who seems broken requires humility about our own brokenness.

· Empathy often involves engaging with people with whom we have little in common, in fact, with some people with whom we have strong disagreements.

· When our empathy is authentic, we may find that our strong disagreements get modified.

· Sometimes in an empathetic relationship, we see not only what is inside the other person, but also what surfaces within ourselves.

· To be empathetic often leads to a sense of awe about another person.

Q: In these vignettes, are there any lessons for you about empathy?