Navigating the Grieving Process During the Holidays

The holiday season is meant to be a time filled with joy and togetherness. Still, it can also be incredibly challenging for those who are grieving. Navigating the loss of someone is an immensely heart-wrenching experience that can leave you feeling lost amidst the holiday cheer. It’s important to acknowledge that grief is a deeply personal journey, and everyone copes in their unique way and on their own timeline. However, some universal principles can offer solace to those who find themselves grieving during this time of year.

Grief is a pain that never goes away.

Grief is a normal response to loss. It’s something that everyone goes through at some point in their life, whether it’s losing a loved one, a meaningful relationship, a coworker, or even a pet. Grief is overwhelming and can make you feel like you’re drowning in sadness, but over time, it will get easier — and if you don’t find ways of coping with your grief early in the process, then it can become harder for you later on down the line.

• Grieving doesn’t mean that there was something wrong with your relationship — it means that there was something right about it!
• If you have experienced the loss of someone within the past year, you may find yourself navigating your own grief while also supporting others in coping with their own emotions and needs surrounding the situation. This can be especially true if someone close passes away unexpectedly; this person may have been struggling financially when they passed away, so now their family members need financial support from others who knew them well enough, not just economically but also personally.

Rituals can help you navigate the holiday season.

Rituals can help you heal and feel connected to the person who died. Rituals also can help you feel like you are honoring the person who died.

Examples of rituals that people have done to honor the person who died:

• Keep their room just as it was when they were alive so that when guests visit, or family comes over, they are reminded of the person that passed away.
• Put up pictures of them around your home so everyone gets a glimpse of their face throughout the day (or week, or month). This helps keep them close even though they are physically gone from us now.

Don’t feel guilty about your grief.

When you’re grieving, it’s normal to feel like you’re not doing enough. You may even feel guilty for being unable to do things that made last year special for you and your family. You might think about all the important things then, but now seem trivial or unimportant.

As humans, we often find ourselves caught in the trap of comparing our lives to others. This tendency becomes even more challenging when we are overwhelmed with grief, desperately longing to reclaim the lives we once had. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned from my own experience with grief over the years (and from working with other people who are grieving), it’s this:

When others choose to celebrate their holiday season differently, it is important to acknowledge that there are reasons behind them. Perhaps they find contentment in celebrating in their own unique way, or maybe they require a different approach to navigate the complex emotions that arise from losing someone significant in their life. It is crucial to respect and support their diverse processes of coping, mourning, and moving forward.

Reach out to others.

You are not alone. Remember that other people have lost someone or experienced similar losses, and they may be able to help you with your grief. If you don’t know anyone who has been through what you are going through, try reaching out to someone who is experiencing a similar loss — it can be especially helpful if they live near you so that they can spend time together in person and by phone or email.

• Make a list of people who could provide support: friends, family members (including younger children), neighbors and coworkers; clergy members or spiritual leaders; counselors from hospitals/medical clinics; hospice employees; local support groups for those who have experienced a loss (such as Compassionate Friends).
• Don’t hesitate to make contact. Waiting until later, when circumstances may be more convenient, could prove to be a missed opportunity. Seize the moment and initiate a conversation while the thoughts and ideas are still vivid in your mind.

Find ways to create traditions that help you heal and honor the person who died.

To help you heal and honor the person who passed away, create a ritual that reminds you of them. A ritual can be anything from lighting a candle to reading their favorite book aloud.

For example, if they loved to read, consider reading their favorite book around the holidays or on their birthday as part of remembrance. This can be an especially meaningful way for children who have lost parents or other family members by helping them feel connected with those who have passed away in some small way each year.

You can still experience joy during the holidays after experiencing a loss.

It is essential to acknowledge that you are grieving. This is not a sign of weakness, nor does it mean that you no longer care about them. It simply means that their death has influenced your life, and you need time to work through their new reality.

You may experience intense feelings of grief during and after the holidays, especially if you were particularly close with family members or friends who have passed away recently. Grieving can be different for everyone: some people might feel like they are not experiencing any emotions at all; others may feel like they’re in an emotional whirlwind where every moment brings on another wave of sadness or anger; still, others may find themselves feeling happy around certain people but sad when alone (or vice versa).

It’s also important to recognize these feelings and talk about them too. Talking about how we feel helps us understand our own needs better so we know what kind of support systems we need going forward — whether that means getting out more often with friends who understand what we’re going through right now, talking through all those memories again over coffee with a family member…whatever works best for you and your process!

Resources are available to you.

Navigating the grieving process during the holidays can be challenging, but several resources are available online and through call centers to provide support.

Here are five online and call center resources in the United States available for grief support:

Crisis Text Line

• Offers 24/7 support and information for any type of crisis via text.
• To access, text HOME to 741741 from anywhere in the United States.
• Website: https://www.crisistextline.org/texting-in

Crisis Call Center

• A 24/7/365 crisis hotline.
• Contact: (775) 784–809.
• Website: http://crisiscallcenter.org/get-help-247/

Friendship Telephone Line for Seniors

• A crisis intervention hotline and “warm line” for non-urgent calls designed to serve older people.
• Contact: 1–800–971–0016 / 415–750–4111.
• Website: https://www.ioaging.org/services/all-inclusive-health-care/friendship-line/about-the-friendship-line

IMAlive

• A live online network using instant messaging to respond to people in crisis.
• Website: https://www.imalive.org/who-we-are/about-imalive/

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

• Provides support for people in distress and suicide prevention.
• Contact: 1–800–273–8255.
• Website: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/

Additional resources include:

• Actively Moving Forward (AMF): Supports grieving young adults and adults of all ages. Website: https://www.empoweringher.org
• Bereaved Parents USA: Helps parents and families rebuild their lives after the loss of a child or sibling. Website: https://www.bereavedparentsusa.org
• COVID Grief Network: Offers free one-on-one support for young adults grieving due to COVID-related deaths. Website: https://www.covidgriefnetwork.org
• SLAP’D (Surviving Life After a Parent Dies): A social media site for teens who have lost a parent. Website: https://www.slapd.com
• Tragedy Assistance Program for Survivors (TAPS): Provides care for those grieving the loss of a loved one in the Armed Forces. Website: https://www.taps.org/griefcounseling

These resources offer a range of support options, including workshops, personal planning tools, crisis intervention, and peer support, to help individuals cope with grief during the holiday season.

You’re not alone.

The holidays can be difficult for those who have lost someone, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone. Grief is a process that takes time and patience, but there are ways to make the season more bearable and even joyful. If you’re feeling overwhelmed by grief during this festive time of year, seek help from family, friends, or professionals who understand what you’re going through. You deserve to be supported as much as possible in your healing journey!