Twin Chasers: Mr. & Mrs. Flame
Flames in Motion: The Adventure of Running, Chasing, and Loving
In the world of twin flames, the runner-chaser dynamic is an inevitable and transformative part of the journey. It’s where one partner, overwhelmed by the intensity of the connection, pulls away, while the other relentlessly pursues, trying to mend the rift. However, this dynamic isn’t always about physically running away; it often involves fleeing from emotions, past traumas, and even the reflections of our own deepest fears. We found that it also does not mean running separately — sometimes you can run and chase together. We spent over 10,000 hours — closer to 19 years when you do the math — together, facing the shadows of our pasts and the demons of our present.
Our journey as twin flames have been anything but ordinary. It’s been filled with spontaneous decisions, wild adventures, and more than a few moments where we looked at each other and thought, “What the hell were we thinking?” But through it all, we’ve learned that these runner-chaser moments, as frustrating as they can be, are the backbone of our relationship. We are fortunate enough to have gone through these moments together, and they’ve forced us to confront our deepest fears, make drastic changes, and ultimately grow stronger together.
From Running to Realization
Our story really took off when we decided to move to Scottsdale, Arizona, on a whim. We were running from the emotional weight of not being in our children’s lives as much as we wanted and from the drama that seemed to follow us everywhere. In a matter of days, we packed up everything, bought a $1.4 million home sight unseen, and shipped our cars and furniture across the country. We were running, but we didn’t realize just how far.
Once in Scottsdale, we threw ourselves into the city’s high life. We ate out three to four times a day, bought an expensive car, and dressed in designer clothes. Our lives became a blur of pool parties, staycations, and wild nights out. But as much as we tried to fit in with the crowd, it didn’t take long for our egos to flare up. We were chasing a false image, trying to run from the emotions of our families together, and it was only a matter of time before it all came crashing down.
Chasing Shadows
After two years in Scottsdale, the need for responsibility started to settle in, so we figured, let’s run from the energy and move all the way back to Seattle. My ex was allowing me more time with my kids, and my flame’s daughter was nearing the end of her high school years. The pull to return home to Seattle was strong, and we thought that running back would bring some much-needed stability. But the reality was far from what we expected.
Seattle’s cold, rainy weather only amplified the emotional turmoil we were feeling. We spent most of our days drinking and using substances to numb the pain of not being appreciated, both by our families and by ourselves. This is a common experience in the runner-chaser dynamic, where both individuals might engage in self-destructive behaviors as a way of coping with the intense emotions stirred by their separation. It wasn’t long before we started spiraling into destructive behaviors, and one night, we even got robbed. But as dark as those days were, they also brought us closer together. After a channeled message that came to my wife one stormy night — “we need to pack a bag and leave now” — 24 hours later, we immersed ourselves further into isolation. Running from the self-destruction and the bad karma, we decided to pack one bag and move to Hawaii with no plan.
Hawaii-Flam-o
We arrived in Hawaii like everyone else, trying to get away and recharge after a crazy three years filled with family drama, moving, buying homes, and self-destruction. For the first time, all our rental properties were running at 100% occupancy, and we literally had no place to go. The housing market was drying up, interest rates were spiking, and we had overstayed our welcome at a place we were renting — one of my flame’s so-called friends who ended up trying to take us to court, but that’s a story for another time.
In Hawaii, we immersed ourselves in the island’s way of life. On the Big Island, camping is not just a pastime but a way of living, and we embraced it fully, often camping for one to three weeks at a time. Our favorite spot was Makalawena Beach, one of the most breathtaking beaches in the country. It was our go-to camping spot because it didn’t require a permit, allowing us to stay as long as we wanted. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore, the sky filled with stars, and a moon so bright it lit up the night — it all brought a wave of humility and a deep sense of connection to the world around us. Living on the edge of an island with nothing but the elements to rely on was a test of our resilience and our relationship.
But Hawaii wasn’t all paradise. A massive storm hit the beach where we were camping (Photo Above), with winds so strong they uprooted trees and sent them crashing into our car. The windshield was shattered, the battery was dead, and we were literally stranded in the middle of nowhere. But instead of panicking, we embraced the situation. There are worse places to be stuck, we thought. We had enough food and water to last a week, and we were surrounded by nature’s beauty.
This runner-chaser moment living off-grid wasn’t about running away from our problems but running toward a simpler, more grounded life. For the first time, our rental properties were fully occupied, and we found ourselves with the time to reflect on our journey and our purpose. It was a time of introspection, of reconnecting with ourselves and each other, and of finding peace in the simplicity of life.
The King Flame: Leading with Positive Energy
These moments together allowed me to step into my King Flame spirit — a role that involves leading with positive energy while fully embracing the perspective of my Queen Flame. Throughout our intense relationship, I began to understand why I react the way I do and how important it is to keep the energy between us positive and harmonious. The runner’s internal struggle is often rooted in a fear of vulnerability and the overwhelming nature of the connection. Dealing with the shadows of my past, particularly the baggage from my family and childhood, was one of the biggest hurdles on our journey. Without my twin flame and the experiences, we shared during those runner and chaser moments, I wouldn’t have gained a deeper sense of love and appreciation for her.
While the pain of past wounds sometimes made me want to distance myself from my family, these experiences taught me that forgiveness and engagement on my terms — without guilt, ego, or judgment — are possible. The karmic energy from my past no longer bleeds into our journey as twin flames, which is extremely gratifying. By stepping into my King Flame role, I’ve learned to lead our union with positivity while also honoring and integrating the strength and wisdom of my Queen Flame.
The Runner-Chaser Chronicles: Lessons from the Twin Flame Path
It’s taken me a while to write this piece on the runner-chaser dynamic because my flame and I have experienced so many of these moments. We attribute our runner-chaser journey to a key element of our relationship. It’s easy to give up during this stage, but perseverance through personal growth can be transformative— it requires spending enough time together to work through the issues and both parties being willing to put in the effort.
Over time, after countless hours together, we learned to be our own spiritual counselors, helping ourselves grow and ultimately allowing me to write this actively and be our true selves. By facing the runner-chaser dynamic head-on and working through our issues as a couple, we found deeper love and understanding, proving that perseverance and mutual growth can strengthen a relationship.
