The Story of Meeting My Twin Flame
Introduction
Welcome to the story of meeting my twin flame journey — the hardest yet most rewarding five years of my life. From the moment I met my twin flame, my life changed irrevocably. This story is one of truth and transparency, shared with the hope of helping others navigate their own twin flame journeys. This is just the start; we have several stories about our journey and takeaways to help others. Our goal is to give this group humble substance.
Leading Up to Meeting My Twin Flame
Before meeting my twin flame, I was divorced for five years. Once the dust settled from the divorce, I found unexpected happiness in the newfound order of my life. The chaos and dysfunction of my previous marriage contrasted sharply with my current, more peaceful existence.
I didn’t realize how much my behavior as a cheater in our marriage had set me back. I spent the entire 10-year marriage bowing down to my ex, feeling I deserved being a submissive husband with no opinion for always wanting to step out on her. Looking back now, being with my flame, I realized I was itching to release my female energy. My ex never told me I was handsome, never complimented my outfits, and never made me feel wanted or secure. Going through the divorce, I realized my ex did the best thing she could have done for me — she left. Despite how unhappy I was, I wasn’t leaving her out of fear or insecurity. In fact, I wanted to be in love and happy. At the time, I didn’t realize how abused I was in my childhood and how my past abuse clouded my female energy to be masculine to find true love.
When we first separated, I found a rental house outside my kids’ school district and relished the thought of a clean, orderly home. In my excitement, I didn’t realize the house was not in the kids’ school district. Despite my ex-wife’s attempts to paint me as a bad father, I focused on being present in my children’s lives. She was good at using such things against me to build her narrative of me being a bad dad and her being a desperate, poor single mom. It was all a front to hide her shortcomings and make herself feel good. I’ll never forget her looking me in the eyes and telling me I was holding her back in life and she needed to thrive like she did before meeting me. She wasn’t working because I made enough money for her not to. I did everything she asked — cooked, cleaned, and worked a full-time job while she practiced pole fitness. Yet, she never made me feel wanted. One day, I cleaned our entire three-story house from top to bottom. She walked in mad because I forgot to clean the litter box. I couldn’t fathom why I’d be blamed for her not meeting her full potential. I got mad — not in a sense of hate, but mad from spending the past 10 years trying hard but being ignored.
I spent the next four years trying to feel wanted through sexual engagements and energy with others. My ex never initiated sex with me and rarely complimented me. I could count on one hand how many times we engaged in intimacy. The newfound freedom of the divorce led me to explore my sexual energy and desires more openly. I did everything under the sun to meet women. I paid for sex multiple times and swiped on Tinder until my hand hurt. I joined a site for people in the lifestyle of openness, and found it to be an exciting outlet. This exploration was a way to fill the void left by years of feeling unappreciated and unwanted in my marriage. I began working out, improving my appearance, and gaining confidence.
The Unexpected Meeting
I’ve always wanted to be in the swinger lifestyle. One of my first few dates with my ex was at a lifestyle club in DC. We had sex in the club; it was nice. One of the reasons that attracted me to her was her sexual energy. During our marriage, I was still a boy, unable to navigate finding myself as a man and dealing with a girl who thought she was superior to me. She’d use my cheating as an excuse to never explore more with me. I thought if I met a woman with lifestyle expectations, we’d enjoy love and sex together and trust each other from the start because I wanted to be in love and be with my person forever. My ex might not have felt that way because she failed to really know herself. She was, in her own right, a girl thinking like a woman, so I don’t fault her. She did what she needed to do based on my boyish behaviors.
On the site there was a guy looking for black men to have sex with upscale white women who liked to have fun — let’s call him Jim. He seemed legit — one time, he showed up at my house with a hot housewife, and me and three other guys had fun with her. In the mix of the conversation, he sent me my flame’s profile on the site Later, I found out this guy had never had a lifestyle conversation with my flame, so the entire story of how we met is a mix-up. I was looking for a woman in the lifestyle and thought my flame was too. Jim was trying to create a group of black men who would have sex with upscale white women who wanted BBC but never actually spoke to or connected with the women he was trying to recruit. That mistake would drive my perception of our entire twin flame journey; however, it would be the backbone and important to twin flame harmonious union.
Later on, like two months later, I came across my flame’s profile. I sent her a note thinking she already knew who I was because Jim sent me her profile earlier, but she had forgotten about Jim and responded to my profile based on my good looks. We chatted, exchanged numbers, and set up a meet-and-greet at a BBQ joint. I’ll never forget what she was wearing: tight jeans, a black leather coat, her hair freshly colored and straight, and a personality like mine. It was weird because I said to myself, “I’m going to marry that girl.” I kid you not, that was my first thought. I ignored it because it came so quickly, and I knew I was fresh off a marriage and not in a rush. We had a great lunch, and she followed me back to my house. It was the Fourth of July, and my neighborhood had some crazy sick fireworks. We watched fireworks and had sex for four hours. I kid you not — it was a crazy energy and connection that carried us through our journey of good and bad, up and down.
My flame tells her side of what she felt in the morning: “I’ll never forget the next morning. It was so weird — haha — I’m heading down the steps and look over. Here you are on the toilet, speaking on the phone with a cigarette in your mouth. I remember thinking first, who is he talking to at 3 am, and who the hell is this guy?!” I left and wasn’t sure if I’d see you again.” Boy, was I wrong! She also remembers the drive home and saying, “We had fireworks in the sky for us for hours.” I didn’t realize at the time, but I realized to trust my gut moving forward — along with some other lessons I learned along the way.
Lessons Learned
Trust Your Gut: From the day I met my flame, I knew I was going to marry her. At the time, I had no idea why, but I realized later on the importance of that gut feeling. It got me through dark times and motivated me to do better as a person. Whatever happens in your journey, that gut feeling or voice in your head can keep you relentless in your journey to stay together. That was key for me. Breaking up was never an option for us.
Be Yourself: The vision of my flame walking out of the house while I’m on the toilet on the phone smoking a cigarette was me stripped down from insecurities about my looks or being wanted in a relationship. I’d already worked through these before meeting my flame. I walked in from day one, giving her a stripped-down shell of myself for her to mold and partner with.
Expect the Unexpected: You might meet your flame in some of the most unexpected ways. It was a mix-up the way we met. I thought she was the person to cure my sexual tensions and energy for long-term happiness. She wasn’t looking for a lifestyle partner; however, after a ten-year marriage with a boring white guy, she just wanted to have fun until she was able to leave the lifestyle.
Cherish the Moments: I’ll never forget the day I met my flame — what she was wearing, what we had to eat, what I was wearing, and all the emotions that came. Use these moments to keep you focused on the prize.
Have Something to Offer: My flame is ten years older than me. If I wasn’t already working for a top 100 company as a leader, had a good education, dressed nicely, and took care of myself before meeting my flame, I’m not sure if she would have given me a chance or been willing to see me. I had a nice home, nice income, nice car, and was well-groomed. I wasn’t her typical type of guy, but I had just enough to offer. Don’t ignore what you offer or bring to the table — it means something to exemplify your accomplishments, big or small.
Don’t Get Caught Up in the Hype: I’ve read many stories about the twin flame journey and what it is and what it’s not. No one person is correct or has the answer because every journey is different. I see less of actual stories and see more people preaching despite not sharing actual genuine stories. Keep in mind only a few people meet their flames, stay with their flames, and make it to harmonious union — I think it’s only 4%. So, everyone has a different story or meaning to what their journey means to them. Don’t believe the hype of one person’s experience over yours and allow the hype to define your story. You create your own story as you grow with your flame and allow yourselves to find each other out of trust and transparency.
Thanks Yolk Gemini for the safe space to share. Elara Gemini thanks for the twin flame stats.
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