What can you do when your life’s in a swirl and it’s affecting your work?

Sometimes, life deals hard cards. At these times, it can be difficult to get on with daily life and your work can suffer. This article will look at signs of stress, and how to reflect on where you are. It will then suggest ways to approach your situation with pragmatism, clarity and compassion.

So what is a swirl?

A swirl is when something so big hits you that you can’t stand up properly. It’s when the BIG, BIG stuff happens. It could be marital breakdown, children’s illnesses, bullying at work — and usually it’s some beautiful combination of the above that knocks you out. It could be a cancer scare, a missed night’s sleep, or an argument that tips you from challenged to ‘lost it’. Everyone is different about what creates a swirl for them.

I’m writing this blog from the breast screening waiting room - seems appropriate. A lump has grown and taken on the ‘what to watch out for symptoms’. In all honesty, this is not a swirl for me, but it is a challenge. It could become a major swirl if it’s biopsy and positive. I’m predicting how I’ll cope if it goes into ‘major swirl’, planning my coping strategies like tattoo over scarring, good eyeliner if it’s chemo, skirting round the ‘what if it’s worse’. But right now, no swirl.

Symptoms of a swirl

A swirl is not just a temporary fury, or an hour of feeling disorientated — it’s a prolonged period of time of feeling overwhelmed. You just can’t keep your head on anything.

You start work, drift off into a revere, settle back to work to find yourself exhausted. You put your head down for a moment, get a coffee. You tell yourself off for not focusing and go back with renewed fortitude, only to find yourself glazed over again. Your head is befuddled, you’re in a thick cloud, and unable to exit. You start to worry that you’re not right and enact self compassion. You go back to work, and find you’ve missed something vital. Castigate yourself for not noticing early. Veer into panic.

You might recognise this description. Life of course has different phases, being at ease, feeling challenged, and in a swirl.

When you’re at ease:

• You have down time each day which you enjoy.
• Challenges and worries are there but they don’t disturb you excessively.
• You feel deeply accepted and loved by at least one person or being (like a pet).

When you’re challenged:

• You don’t have time every day when you feel entirely relaxed.
• Challenges and worries disturb you and spread into other areas of your life.
• You feel accepted and loved by at least one person or being.
• Being challenged is important to notice as it’s often the precursor to swirl.

When you’re in a swirl:

• Even when relaxing you are aware of an undercurrent of stress.
• Challenges and worries are constantly popping up in your mind.
• You feel disconnected to others, loved ones seem far away even when close.
• You haven’t shared the level of distress you’re experiencing with anyone.
• Things you normally enjoy are no longer enjoyable. You don’t feel like yourself.
• Check out the NHS symptoms of stress.

If you read the above and think you’re approaching, or are in, a swirl, read on.

The first thing is to acknowledge how far out you are, and to be kind as you do that. You’re ok. Your needs are OK, you’re just dealing with stuff that has got a bit out of hand.

To the empathetic folk of the world, this is so important you hear this. You need to look after yourself first. If you have fallen short of your expectations, park it. If you want to go back over your imperfections remind yourself these flaws are sign posts to you. Sign posts that say you need to take more care of yourself. You first.

To the self contained, you need to hear this too. It’s OK to go quiet and enjoy your own space. It’s also good to trust others to care for you. When you open up you give people the opportunity to show they care.

Whether you go out of yourself or stay within these guidelines will help you.

Get an overview

• Spend time noting down all the contributing factors to your swirl. Connect the dots of your life. See if there are other times of your life that have been similar. If so think about the stages you went through, see the bigger picture so you can plan kindly.

You’re going to need to tell some people.

• You need to tell one of your seniors at work so you can get the support and space you need.
• You want to tell a loved one to acknowledge where you are now as ask for some support.
• You might want to get help from a doctor or professional.

You need to self soothe.

• Go really easy on yourself and build in nurturing things you can do for yourself.
• Warm drinks, early to bed, warming showers, connection to nature are all important.
• Make time for quiet pursuits: drawing, writing, taichi, yoga, gardening.
• Give yourself quality time: find a calming and wholesome box set and enjoy a little escapism.
• Take up meditation. When you’re in a swirl this is the hardest time to do this, but also the most effective. This can profoundly affect your outlook for the positive.

Change your perspective.

• Try to welcome this swirl as an opportunity to transform your life for the better, even if the path is tough. When a big thing hits us we have to re-evaluate, ask ourselves difficult questions about where we put our energy, who is important to us and what we want to give our life energy to. A swirl is an opportunity to change your life to be more in line with a deeper part of yourself.

With an overview, support from others, self soothing and a change of perspective you will find the overwhelm starts to subside. Gradually you will heal and get your feet on the ground. Take the opportunity of finding a deeper connection with yourself and your life.

Two mammograms, an ultrasound and 3 doctors later and I’m clear. Today I’m one of the lucky ones. Sadly this is not the same for everyone, today a major swirl starts for some. Today, for me, it has been averted. That said, I don’t want to lose my learning. The challenge gave me lots of worries and they brought clarity: I am going to put my energy into what I want to grow.

I wish you the same: space to find a new clarity. Change is challenging, but change is good.

About Susannah Dean

Susannah Dean is a content writer for Twinkl Life with a focus on yoga and wellbeing. She also teaches in primary school and runs weekly general and pregnancy yoga classes. Susannah is passionate about transformation through movement, nurture and adding a little more colour to life.