What is ‘Age Appropriate’ in an inclusive RSE policy?

Is there an age that is appropriate to start talking about relationships (LGBTQ+ or otherwise) with primary age pupils? Government guidance advises schools to teach pupils “about LGBT” at “the point at which schools consider it appropriate”. This can have knock-on effects to pupils and teachers alike if it’s left too late, leading both to a sense of ‘othering’, and children with LGBTQ families feeling afraid to tell others, or when a young person begins to understand their gender and sexuality more, they feel as though they have to “come out”.

If teaching about LGBTQ+ issues and identity is left until Key Stage 2 and beyond, a child may have already begun to question how they feel, and it is therefore too late — or it may lead to an unhealthy relationship with themselves and a sense of ‘othering’. Growing up, the term “gay” was only ever used as an insult, and I therefore was left thinking “I never want that to be me” before I even understood the true meaning of it, let alone my own understanding of my personal sexuality and identity. If it is up to the individual school’s discretion to decide when it is appropriate or inappropriate to discuss LGBTQ+ identities, it leads me to wonder — at what point does this actually happen? Without suitable support, teachers may feel awkward speaking about sexuality and identity with young children, with a potential risk of backlash from parents if they felt their child was particularly impressionable. This then may mean however that if a teacher then identifies as queer, they may feel forbidden to be their authentic selves until their pupils are older.

RELATIONSHIPS

The time at which children are introduced to heterosexuality does not have a minimum age requirement — we are introduced to straight relationships from birth, even before attending nursery. In fact, the concept of heterosexuality and relationships for children are even praised and encouraged, with children as young as 4 and 5 having “nursery boyfriends/girlfriends’’. Equally, the internet is rife with images of toddlers staging mock weddings. Don’t believe me? Try searching “girl, boy, child” on Google. As we get older, the only introduction towards LGBTQ+ relationships exists in a sexualised context, largely due to both mainstream media portrayals and unethical and unrealistic expectations formed through consumption of pornography. By introducing healthy, normalised conversations about real life LGBTQ+ relationships from a young age, children are less likely to build a distorted view of both those around them, and themselves and their identity. How does this work, practically? For instance, if an individual teacher reads a story to a class of reception children that contains characters with two mums, but their school policy requires them to wait until pupils reach year 5 PSHE lessons to learn about LGBTQ+ relationships — what happens then?

TEACHING WITH CONFIDENCE

With murky guidance and a wealth of replications if done incorrectly, it is no wonder that educators may feel slightly nervous about the teaching of all types of relationships. Alongside teaching sexuality, gender identity and considering how best to introduce this to children; ensuring they learn everything else on the curriculum is a pretty huge weight for educators to carry. The good news is that there are thousands of individuals in the exact same position, all wanting to get it right. A comprehensive, inclusive RSE school policy should aid with this, but just how common is good practice?

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