Trick, treat, and tremble
A collection of some of our darkest dreads
Some of us take Halloween very seriously. Others, not so much. But we all have one scary thing in common: phobias. So, in the spirit (no pun intended) of the season, we asked our colleagues about the things witch (pun definitely intended) frighten them — we created some aliases for answers so that no one gets spooked.
Guile– Senior Director of Product Design, San Francisco
What scares you most?
Baked beans
Why?
They looks like swollen ticks swimming in a pool of bloody mucus.
How do you deal with this fear?
I avoid them at all costs.
Slashly– Senior Product Designer, San Francisco
What scares you most?
The Husker’s becoming an irrelevant football team
Why?
Have you seen them play since the 90s? It isn’t pretty.
How do you deal with this fear?
Nacho cheese. Lots of it.
Slashly Too, The Sequel– Senior Product Designer, New York
What scares you most?
Lizards
Why?
Their scurry freaks me out.
How do you deal with this fear?
Run from them or roll into the fetal position and drool.
TracEEEEEEK!– Product Designer, San Francisco
What scares you most?
Automatic transmissions in sports cars
Why?
Because I like to stay loyal to the once revered status symbol for performance vehicles: the clutch.
How do you deal with this fear?
Proclaiming to be a “purist” by constantly ignoring the auto evolution.
Grievin’ Shocks– Content Strategy Manager, San Francisco
What scares you most?
Snakes. Oh, and the dull hum of people finding out I’m making this up as I go.
Why?
Snakes are terrible. And I never want to come in below expectations.
How do you deal with this fear?
Avoid at all costs, even including conversations about them, so this is making me sweat a little (this answer holds for both fears).
Xena– Product Design Manager, San Francisco
What scares you most?
Fun: slugs!!
Real: my own death.
Why?
I had a dream when I was about 4 where I fell, woke up, and everything around me was full of slugs and they were crawling on top of me. That was the worst nightmare I’ve ever had (my parents can vouch), and ever since, I hate them more than anything.
Own death is serious, I actually do get panic attacks, and since you can’t escape death, there really isn’t much I can do about it. I think everyone is afraid of dying, but somehow my brain just imagines it so realistically and it questions pretty much all of my existence.
How do you deal with this fear?
Slugs: Try not to look when they are around.
Death: Shiatsu is the only thing that helped a bit, but honestly, who isn’t afraid of dying? Really can’t do too much about it, but I hope there will be something that helps more at some point of my life so I don’t go insane when I get older.
Miss Demeana– User Researcher, San Francisco
What scares you most?
Communal tables where you’re encouraged to talk with the diners around you
Why?
I’m an introvert, so conversation with strangers is terrifying. I don’t like small talk and I have very strong opinions about it. I’d rather get to know the people I see every day, than chatty strangers. I don’t like to talk and eat, either.
How do you deal with this fear?
Go out to dinner with extroverts, make up a character for myself, avoid eye contact, pretend to be very involved in something else, drink.
Charred Warlock– Director of Product Design, San Francisco
What scares you most?
Political leaders or anyone acting out of fear
Why?
Fear corrodes effective decision making.
How do you deal with this fear?
I try hard not to act while I’m upset.
Special thanks to Javier Saldena for the jack-o’-lantern art.
