7 Things That Will Make You Actually Want To Get Up In The Morning

Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
— Benjamin Franklin

We’re not all morning people but, these 7 things that will turn you into one.

1. Moving from your bed to your couch. It’s not always greener on the other side but, in this case it might be.
2. Finding true love. Everyone knows that you can only find your one true love in the morning. Get out there and find someone who hates mornings as much as you do!
3. Having your first beer. Is there anything better than cracking open the first beer of the day? Yes, having your first beer at 6:30 a.m.
4. Trimming your toenails. Maintaining well-groomed feet is one trait all successful people have in common. So, take the first step and prove your father wrong.
5. Job shadowing your local paper boy. The newspaper industry is dead, so what drives this lunatic to wake-up every morning and deliver something that nobody wants? Grab your shortest shorts and find out!
6. Strangling your neighbor’s barking dog. Anyone would sympathize with your decision to end that pup’s life — he was clearly unhappy. Though, that may not hold up in court.
7. Finally reading the Quran and the Bible in their entirety. Each of these books have topped the New York Times bestsellers. It’s time to find out what all the fuss is about.

The pure serenity that washes over the Earth each morning completely sucks. Try any of these 7 things to make your mornings more bearable.