How you looked at me

A male consumer does not expect a dancer’s unique identity or professionalism from a female idol group. Just like how women in the workplace are only good for making nice coffee. Just like how a girlfriend talking “hard stuff” is tiring.

This is how you viewed me.

I was only good for those titillating moments when I acted cute.
Because you wanted to feel wanted.

I was only good for warming that cold bed.
Because you wanted my body and not my soul.

I was only good for cooking you whatever you wanted.
Because you would never take me out.

I was only good for imagining a family of your own.
Because you wanted to be “normal”.

You didn’t appreciate me talking about world politics, gender inequality, classic texts, lessons of history, subtleties of language, laws of economics.

You wanted me to stop talking “hard”, because I was being “patronizing”.

No.

I brought my world to you.

But you only wanted a dumb doll to play with.

I won’t. Ever again.