Snowballs

Or, a story of how life always screws you over big

For some reason, life lessons come in short sequences of big proportions. A little event triggers a chain sequence that keeps building, even when you don’t notice the chain. A little snowball that rolls down the hill, grows, and hits you big-time.

One such snowball happened last year. I’ve written about this many times. But a friend commented last week:

I mean, I’m a hopeless optimist but you are already damning your relationship.

you are so pessimistic about men… why are you like that? Cheer up.

Oh, honey, let me tell you why I am a pessimist.

I was gaslighted, verbally abused, physically abused, and sexually assaulted by one man, only to be dumped because he couldn’t bother spending time with a woman who wouldn’t carry his child. Plot twist: he posted our dating life on Facebook but denied my existence, for six months, out of the nine months we were together. The next guy who came along promised me with all his heart that he would be a better man because I deserved better. Plot twist: he was verbally abusive. I broke up, only to discover that men with wives and girlfriends approached me for extracurricular sex. I didn’t know why until a guy told me: My regular fuck buddy got a SO now. I want to do it bareback and you’re already prepped so let’s do it. Oh great, I’m just the girl they can have unprotected sex with, with no consequences. Great.

Literally me during those six weeks.

From being dumped to getting bareback proposals only took me six weeks. One week to get dumped, find out about Facebook, get proposal to date. Four weeks of verbally abusive and gaslight-y dating. ONE WEEK of no less than five extracurricular proposals, because I openly talked about my Mirena experience.

Literally me after the six weeks.

So, honey, unless you can call this rollercoaster ride fine, you don’t get to decide if I’m too pessimistic or not.