9 Reasons You Are Unhappy
Steps to personal freedom and a happy life
1. You listen to the voice in your head
There is nothing more important to true growth than realizing that you are not the voice of the mind — you are the one who hears it.
If you’re willing to be objective and watch all your thoughts, you will see that the vast majority of them have no relevance.
The real cause of problems is not life itself. It’s the commotion the mind makes about life that really causes problems.
You’re ready to grow when you finally realize that the “I” who is always talking inside will never be content. It always has a problem with something.
The key is to be quiet. It’s not that your mind has to be quiet. You be quiet. You, the one inside watching the neurotic mind, just relax. You are not the thinking mind; you are aware of the thinking mind.
2. You focus on the wrong things
Consciousness has the ability to do what is called “focus.” The essence of consciousness is awareness, and awareness has the ability to become more aware of one thing and less aware of something else.
What differentiates a conscious, centered being from a person who is not so conscious is simply the focus of their awareness.
If you aren’t centered, your consciousness is just following whatever catches its attention.
Consciousness is always drawn to the most distracting object.
3. You are not open
If you stay open, you will experience love, enthusiasm, excitement, and energy.
Defining what you need in order to stay open actually ends up limiting you. You have limited your openness to those conditions. Better to be open no matter what.
When your heart starts to close, just say, “I’m not going to close. I’m going to relax. I’m going to let this situation take place and be there with it.” Honor and respect the situation, and deal with it.
Nothing is worth closing your heart over.
4. You allow experiences to control you
Simply allow the experiences of life to come in and pass through your being.
Take the risk that you are better off letting go than going with the energy. When you’re free from the hold the energy has on you, you will be free to experience the joy and expansiveness that exists within you.
Don’t allow events to leave impressions inside of you. Let them come and go.
Sit in the seat of awareness and never leave. No matter what goes on below you, open your heart and let it go.
5. You do not like change
Learn to embrace change at all times.
Real transformation begins when you embrace your problems as agents for growth.
Change involves challenging what is familiar to us and daring to question our traditional needs for safety, comfort, and control.
6. You accept suffering
The prerequisite to true freedom is to decide that you do not want to suffer anymore. You must decide that you want to enjoy your life and that there is no reason for stress, inner pain, or fear.
Pain is not bad; it’s how the body talks to you. When you overeat, you get a stomachache.
When you are comfortable with pain passing through you, you will be free.
You were not put on earth to suffer. You’re not helping anybody by being miserable.
7. You aren’t choosing to be happy
Events don’t determine whether or not you’re going to be happy. They’re just events. You determine whether or not you’re going to be happy.
No matter what happens, just enjoy the life that comes to you.
In the end, if you stay happy, you win. Make that your game, and just stay happy no matter what.
8. You are resisting life
It is not life’s events that are causing problems or stress. It is your resistance to life’s events that is causing this experience.
You waste time resisting what has already happened or what might happen.
Not all of us resist the same things or have the same issues. This is because we don’t all have the same preconceived notions of how things should be or how much they should matter to us.
Begin dealing with each situation with acceptance.
Life is giving you a gift, and that gift is the flow of events that takes place between your birth and your death. These events are exciting, challenging, and create tremendous growth. To comfortably handle this flow in life, your heart and mind must be open and expansive enough to encompass reality. The only reason they’re not is because you resist. Learn to stop resisting reality, and what used to look like stressful problems will begin to look like the stepping stones of your spiritual journey.
9. You forgot you will die
Since you know you’re going to die, be willing to say what needs to be said and do what needs to be done.
Learn to live as though you are facing death at all times, and you’ll become bolder and more open.
These thoughts and ideas from “The Untethered Soul” by Michael Singer
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