TYML Daily: 1.24.19
Tonight, we’re celebrating a new inductee into the NBA Fail of Fame, cleaning up after Ted Cruz’s murder on the Senate floor, and crying over some #goodcontent. Let’s take a ride!
PJ Tucker forgets how to basketball
The Rockets were seconds away from a routine victory when the inexplicable happened. After the Knicks hit two free throws to cut the deficit to three, Rockets guard Eric Gordon passed the ball to PJ Tucker and, umm… this happened:
Maybe PJ Tucker thought he was playing on a NFL special teams unit and didn’t want to touch the ball. Or maybe he knew I just added him to my fantasy team and wanted to inflict pain (yup, definitely this). Either way, this is not how basketball works, PJ!
Here’s another angle that captures a priceless reaction from Eric Gordon (on the right).
And you can’t have a FAIL moment without the memes!
And one of the best sports meme creators on Twitter (@nick_pants) was able to recognize a connection to the 2018 Sports Fail of the Year.
Need a refresher?
Unlike the Cavs in Game 1 of last year’s NBA Finals, the Rockets were still able to beat the Knicks. You have been spared, PJ.
Back at it again: WTF White People
I really don’t know here. Maybe this white co-worker was confusing Palmer’s with some alternative butter or coconut oil? I have nothing else.
However, we’re just in the warmup phase.
Greatest Emotional Support Animal of All-Time?
“Wally is bashful, a big teddy bear who likes to snuggle and give hugs, an animal so at peace that he befriends the little goldfish and bullfrogs he’s supposed to eat. That hissing noise is just his way of saying hello.”
Yes, an emotional support alligator. And no, this isn’t in Florida! It’s in Pennsylvania. A plot twist on a plot twist!
“My doctor wanted to put me on depression medicine, and I hate taking medicine. I had Wally, and when I came home and was around him, it was all OK,” he said. “My doctor knew about Wally and figured it works, so why not?”
You know what, Joie Henney? If an alligator helps with your depression I’m here for it 🙌🏿 I mean, just look at this cute little thing 😩
WATCH OUT FLORIDA.
Here I am thinking Florida is the most beautifully-backward state in the nation, but PENNSYLVANIA HAS SOMETHING TO SAY, OK?
Davos & Dumb Penthouses
Why do those stinkin’ liberals get so mad about income inequality? It’s not like there are mega-billionaires buying eight and nine-figure properties all over the wor —
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s (AOC) 70% marginal tax cannot come fast enough.
Speaking of AOC’s marginal tax plan… let’s go to Davos.
The 2019 World Economic Forum Annual Meeting aka where rich people go to laugh about how rich they are aka Davos (because it’s always held in Davos, Switzerland) just started and one of the hot topics is AOC’s 70% marginal tax plan. I’m sure you can already guess their reactions.
Apparently, Michael Dell had more to say about her proposed tax plan and inadvertently tossed up an alley-oop to MIT professor Erik Brynjolfsson (CAN I GET A NAME CHANGE PLEASE):
We go from a solid second-degree burn to a straight-up murder on the Senate floor.
Must-Watch: Ted Cruz Runneth Up and Got Donneth Up by Colorado Senator Michael Bennet
C-SPAN (the most 🔥 network in the USA) caught one of the best political beat downs of the decade tonight. Apparently bitch ass Ted Cruz tried to hop on to some GOP legislation to pay Coast Guard members but not reopen the government and Mr. Bennet not only wasn’t having this shit but 👏🏿 HAD 👏🏿 RECEIPTS 👏🏿 from the 2013 government shutdown. Roll the tape:
There’s only one video you can watch after that performance:
I present the Most Unsurprising White House Leaker of the Year:
I am shockt, I tell you. SHOCKT.
Now, I’ll tell you what is surprising!
New Vampire Weekend!
Vampire Weekend graced the internetz with two new songs (“Harmony Hall,” “2021:) from their upcoming album, Father of the Bride.
How the internet reacted after hearing them:
Both songs are solid and will only build anticipation for the April album release. My only beef is that “2021” is too short! Can y’all 90 more seconds between now and April, please?
The Dude x Super Bowl
If new Vampire Weekend wasn’t giving you enough nostalgia, Jeff Bridges decided to join the party.
With the date “2.3.19” at the end of this tease, it looks like we’re getting an epic Super Bowl commercial from The Dude.
Civil War II: Controversial Southern Food opinions
Yesterday, I was minding my own business by scrolling through Twitter looking into everyone else’s business and this tweet caught my eye:
1.5K likes and 5.7K replies? I’M IN.
I’m sure if you scroll through this thread long enough you’ll find someone worth fighting. My anger is now your anger. You’re welcome.
If you’re gonna get high, make sure you’ve completed your daily to-do list first.
You don’t have to be high to see this.
Do you know what today is? It’s our anniversary*
*Props to anyone who knows this song
There are some special anniversaries I’d like to highlight:
Happy Anniversary, Macintosh!
Happy Anniversary to the Best/Scariest Sports Day of my life!
I’ve been a Packer fan living in Chicago for almost 14 years, but back in January 2011 I almost died during the NFC Championship Game. There was no way I could continue to live in Chicago if the Packers lost this game, and thanks to BJ Raji, I didn’t have to make a sudden move. #GoPackGo
It’s time for some #GoodContent
They say “never meet your heroes” but those people haven’t seen this Twitter thread:
More Carrie Fisher
This doesn’t surprise me at ALL
Now THIS is a celebrity photo
😭 MORE #GOODCONTENT 😭
We covered some Steph Curry pre-magic on Tuesday, and looks like he noticed because he’s back with another one:
Oh, and he’s still good at the basketball stuff:
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See you tomorrow!
