23 lessons from being alive for 23 years
A culmination of things learned I wish I knew all along.
1.) Disconnect often
Don’t look at any social media until noon. Keep the TV off at night. Leave your phone in the car. Go a couple of hours everyday without any technology.
2.) Try your absolute hardest to be proven wrong
Challenge everything you think you know. Stay small and humble and let yourself be outsmarted. The most self-destructive thing you can do is assume that you know everything.
3.) Travel often and travel anywhere
Take weekend trips to different cities in the US. Go on road trips. Backpack around Europe or Thailand. Find deals on Kayak. The world has way too much to offer to not go exploring. Make it a priority and start saving. “Life is short & the world is wide.”
4.) Listen more than you talk…and then listen some more.
When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new. — Dalai Lama
5.) Give everyone a chance to tell their story first.
I once met a guy at a bar in Amsterdam while backpacking around Europe. Five hours later, after many shared stories and many Dutch beers, we were both left with valuable perspectives and shattered assumptions about each other’s worlds. When I later found him on social media, I realized he stood opposite of me on several political and social spectra. Don’t let a label, political view, religious affiliation, race, salary, sexuality, upbringing, or profession ever deter you from talking to someone. Everyone has a story.
6.) Memento Mori — “Remember that you must die”
Car accidents can happen at any moment. Cancer can strike anyone. Heart attacks can happen to the healthiest of people. Terrorism is very real. Ask yourself often — if I had 6 months to live would this matter as much? Would I be pursing the same things? Would I still ignore that person? It’s a powerful reminder. Keep it with you.
7.) Give what you can afford, whenever you can, wherever you go
When you’re getting drive-through and see a homeless person at the end asking for food, double your order and ask them to put it in two separate bags. When you see someone begging for change, give what you can find in the car. Tip generously. Donate to causes. Offer to buy drinks or dinner for close friends. Offer to buy drinks or dinner for not close friends. Recognize when you are more fortunate than those around you and give back when you can. You never know how or why they ended up there, and you never know when the tables might turn.
8.) Meditate often and hyper-embrace the present.
It’s the only thing that can’t be taken from you as long as you’re alive. So spend time in it often.
9.) When you rent a Toyota Prius, be ready to get a Dodge Ram truck instead
I know this sounds like the precursor to something much deeper and metaphorical but let me assure you right now, it’s not. I literally reserved a Prius online last year and showed up to a single set of keys left in the Enterprise Rental shop for a Dodge Ram truck. I had never driven a truck before then. I learned how to drive a truck. And that’s all there is to this lesson. Stay open and be ready for the unexpected.
10.) Take every opportunity to learn.
Read books. A lot of them. Listen to podcasts. Watch TED talks online. Ask questions about everything. Stay curious. Be that person that just knows things.
11.) Let go of expectations and embrace uncertainty
The only way you can avoid being disappointed by unfulfilled expectations is to have no expectations at all. Expect nothing, accept everything.
12.) Let go of what you can’t control, move past what you can’t change, and focus entirely on the rest.
All that leaves you with is the present. Huh. Interesting how that works out.
13.) Constantly try and improve your physical self
You only get one body while you’re on Earth. You can’t trade it. You can’t buy a new one. You get one and it’s yours forever. So make it a good one. It’s not about being insecure and wanting to always change in pursuit of an impossible ideal. It’s about investing in yourself and seeing what you’re capable of.
14.) Never pick up sea cucumbers. Ever.
Just in case you didn’t know what a sea cucumber looks like, this is what they look like. You probably don’t care how they defend themselves. I’m going to tell you anyways. They eject their guts. Not a joke. Don’t learn the hard way. Take my word. It goes everywhere.
14.) Spend time looking at the stars
You’ll start feeling really small and insignificant, and your problems will too.
15.) Introspect, self-reflect, and be brutally honest with yourself.
The worst person in the entire world you can lie to is yourself because there is no one else who can hold you accountable for that lie. Face your insecurities, your flaws, your habits. Ask for honest feedback from friends. Listen to them — and listen to yourself — and never stop learning about yourself.
16.) Mindset is everything
Exactly 338 days ago I got shit on by a bird while walking around Santa Monica. Right in the middle of my chest. No that’s not the worst thing that can happen in life, or the worst thing that’s happened to me, but it sets up the next point pretty well. Shit happens in life. Literally. It’s inevitable. And all that’s left for you to control when it happens is your mindset.
17.) Take cold showers every morning for a week
Prove to yourself that you have that amount of willpower and then see where else you can apply it.
18.) Spend more time outside
Go outside and be in the sun for 10 minutes every morning before you start your day.
19.) Try and meet someone new every single day
Staying within your social circle is easy. But breaking outside of it is where growth happens
20.) Care less about what people think
Honestly though. Stop caring. You hear this all the time. You read it everywhere. Yet we rarely follow it. Let go of superficial concerns.
21.) Compliment often
Make others feel good about themselves. Acknowledge hard work and talent when you see it.
22.) Avoid the majority
Think big. Be different. Go outside the box. Ask for forgiveness instead of permission. Challenge norms. Being like everyone else is grossly overrated.
23.) Don’t forget this
So if you’ve made it this far, you’re actually going to get the best lesson out of this entire list. Because here’s a truth. This blog post that you just read, a list of self-promoting life lessons, is one of hundreds. Maybe thousands. And I know this because I’ve read a lot of them. They’re all over. And every single time you read them, get inspired, have this feeling rush over you of “Fuck yeah! I’m ready to do this and start following some of these things and improve myself and my lifestyle and then I’ll -” and usually before you even finish that thought it’s already gone and forgotten. You finish the article holding on to whatever inspirational is still left and then you navigate back to Facebook and go back right to where you were. So here’s the last lesson. Recall these things. Every week or even every day. Make your own list. Keep it at the front of your mind.
