Tom EllisoninSlackjawIf I Investigated Real Crimes Like I Watch Mystery Movies“The neighbor says he has video of a delivery guy doing it.” Carter says, scowling. “Too simple,” I respond. “We’re only five minutes in.”5d ago25d ago2
Tom EllisoninSlackjawDear Residents: Our Apartment Community Is Now A UFO CultHail Spronk!Apr 4, 20193Apr 4, 20193
Tom EllisoninSlackjawThe Extreme Sports Documentary Hero’s Journey“It’s not about the glory,” the Hero says into the IMAX camera.Feb 21, 20191Feb 21, 20191
Tom EllisoninSlackjawThe Movie Trailer Ratings Writer Gives Two Weeks’ Notice…and cuts loose.Jan 26, 20191Jan 26, 20191
Tom EllisoninSlackjawThe Old Spaghetti Factory Briefly Considers a Branding OverhaulPasta consumers prefer new spaghetti to old spaghetti, by an 89%-11% margin.Jan 12, 20195Jan 12, 20195
Tom EllisoninHow Pants WorkI Am Your Neglected, Bitter Meditation App…and I will not take you back.Jan 1, 2019Jan 1, 2019
Tom EllisonChristmas Lyrics Revised to Be as Lazy as “Here Comes Santa Claus”“Santa Claus lane”?Dec 24, 2018Dec 24, 2018