Networking is hard, having a conversation is easy!
A guide to worry-free networking.
Networking isn’t something that comes naturally to me — I’m an introvert. To me, the thought of networking and making small talk is synonymous with torture, a sentiment I’m sure many of us can relate to. So when I had the opportunity to fly to Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia to attend the 10th University Scholars Leadership Symposium, all of my excitement was squashed by worries about not knowing anybody and being required to spend a large portion of the conference talking to strangers. Yes, that dreaded word…networking.
When I got to the conference, I was surrounded by young, high achieving individuals with multiple accomplishments. Some of them had started nonprofit movements and some had already been published in peer-reviewed journals! Talking to them was intimidating, and while I recognized that this was a chance for me to collaborate and connect with other like-minded people, the fear of being thought of as less accomplished was very real.
So, to survive this torture I had to start somewhere. I decided to start small. Instead of walking up to a group of people (my nightmare!) I decided to talk to the person I was sitting next to. I was surprised that it was not too scary talking to someone I had just met, and it turned out that most people enjoy talking to others! Even though I was absolutely not the most intelligent or qualified individual in the room, I picked up a few tricks to make networking seem less scary and more approachable (let’s be real here, it’s still hard sometimes!). Here are three of my biggest takeaways.
Approach networking with the mindset that it’s just a conversation
Conversations can connect you to somebody with the same goals and perspectives. Conversations can also open the floor for discussion about topics you’re both interested in. At its essence, this is what networking is — it’s all about making an authentic connection with somebody. Before leaving for the conference I put a lot of pressure on myself to make connections and network. By framing it instead as having a conversation and learning more about the people around me, there was less expectation on myself to create a “network”. I felt more free to simply get to know other delegates, and as a result, I was able to be more genuine and authentic in my connections.
Listen and be present
Conversations are supposed to be a two-way street, sharing an exchange of ideas. But that’s hard if you’re thinking about what you are going to say next and you completely miss what the other person has just said. The best conversations I had in the seven days that I was at the conference were those where I felt listened to and those where I actively listened. Talking to somebody who you look up to can be intimidating, but being present and really listening to what the person is saying is so important. Approach conversations being genuinely interested in their perspectives and ideas, and ask questions based on the new information you have learned. Even if you have to take a minute to gather your thoughts, I can almost guarantee they’ll appreciate it more than if you completely miss their point because you weren’t listening.
Everyone has something to offer — even you!
It was hard for me, at first, to articulate how I could make a definitive and clear impact on the world since I don’t have a great idea on how to reduce greenhouse gas emissions or a new product that could reduce single-use plastics, etc. But the more I spoke with others at this conference, I realized that I didn’t necessarily have to have concrete ideas on how to change the world. The skills that I already have, such as being able to think critically, are equally valuable and can help me have an impact. Networking is a partnership, and by creating new connections I was able to see my value and ability to contribute and potentially help out someone else.
The best connections form organically.
It’s been six months since I’ve come back from Malaysia, and I can definitely say that I came away from the experience feeling more confident in my abilities to talk to people, to understand new ideas, and to articulate my own thoughts. A lot of us balk at the thought of networking in its traditional sense, but I found it easier to do once I understood what it really was. For me, it was having a really good conversation. Most importantly, I learned that networking doesn’t have to be hard. It isn’t the quantity of the connections that you make, but rather the quality of them. That will allow you to make a genuine and authentic connection that is important. Also, know that as much as you’re trying to make connections and network with the people around you, they’re trying to do the same as you. They wouldn’t be at the event if they didn’t want to, right? Oh, and for everyone wondering, I still talk to all of the people I met at the conference and we’re planning a reunion this summer.
