Fraternities, Sororities, and Power-Based Personal Violence

By: Melissa Bader-Huesgen

Episode 12 of the Narrative Project focused on the experience folks have in fraternities and sororities and how these experiences intersect with power-based personal violence. All of the guests during this episode are from Panhellenic Sororities, so there is not a full representation of individuals that are involved in these organizations.

“You find your home away from home.”

To start off, each of our guests talked through how they got involved in their organization and generally what their experience has looked like. Everyone spoke of how they either had the intention to join an organization before coming to college or learning about it after coming to college and deciding to go through recruitment. Various experiences around leadership, support, and philanthropy are gained throughout the organization with most of our guests mentioning some kind of leadership position within the organization or a mentor role as a “big.” There is an understanding that some of the traditions within the organizations may have a negative or unusual connotation to others not involved in sorority and fraternity life. Our guests mentioned that being involved in their organization allowed them to network and create a foundation for further involvement in various opportunities throughout their time at UCI.

After speaking about how they got involved and what they’ve gained, they spoke about the dynamics that exist within the formal creation of “big” and “little” pairings. Within sororities and fraternities, it is common to have each new class of members be paired with an experienced member to support them as they join the organization. The new members are called “littles” and the experienced members are called “bigs.” Our guests spoke very highly of their bigs and littles. Bigs are defined as being a connection to the rest of the chapter and providing a large amount of support to their littles.

“I try to make sure that my little doesn’t feel like because I’m her big I’m the only older member in the chapter that she can be friends with…I would rather people I care about get as many friends and connections as humanly possible.”

It was mentioned there is a lot of pressure on these types of relationships, on both sides, for the relationship to be perfect or for someone to only have connection with the other person and no one else. Our guests mentioned that they took a lot of care to ensure the power dynamics between themselves and their little were acknowledged and considered to try to ensure their little felt supported and comfortable with making their own decisions. One person in particular mentioned that the relationship “should be a gateway to the rest of the chapter” rather than the only connection to the chapter. Much of this conversation centered around the idea of individuals utilizing that power to determine decisions of the other person and how this is unacceptable. It takes reimagining what the role of the big and little are in the relationship and acknowledging the power that is given to the big in the relationship.

In addition to the power structures of bigs and littles, our guests discussed the structures built into the foundation of sororities and fraternities from their origin. Historically, sororities and fraternities have reputations of being exclusionary and a place where marginalized groups are not welcome. Our guests recognized this past and talked about their experiences at UCI where while they didn’t fit the stereotype of a sorority member, they were given access and support to ensure they felt like they belonged in the group. Conversations have continued to happen within chapters to build in training and conversations around microaggressions, oppression, privilege, and how individuals can actively work towards creating a safe space where everyone belongs.

“Everytime I say I’m in a sorority everyone’s like ‘what?’ And I’m just like you don’t have to tell me. I’m not White. I’m not blonde. I’m sure there are other requirements that people think about when they think about ‘what do I picture a typical sorority girl looking like?’”

In acknowledging this history, it was discussed how the community needs to come together to make changes to ensure the past does not repeat itself and create inclusive organizations. These actions need to not be performative, but rather focus on the actual changes and culture within the organization. There is also pressure from within the sorority and fraternity community and outside the community to fit into the mold of these stereotypical and traditional organizations. This was brought up when our guests discussed the concept of “top house” and the positions or training around diversity and inclusion that are just now becoming a regular addition to chapters. Continuing with this conversation, our guests mentioned the variety of ways that power structures show up within these organizations and can cause harm. For example, older members may have the idea that they are above or know more than younger members and utilize this to control interactions within the organization. They also delved even deeper into the concept of there being a “top house” and how this creates competition between the different organizations, stereotyping of various members and groups, isolation of different groups, and promotes the idea that outside perception can dictate what happens for and with the organizations. It was also mentioned about how these ideas “just hurt everyone” and goes against the motto of “empowered women empower women” that is mentioned within sororities so often.

Our guests also touched on how different power dynamics that exist with fraternities and sororities create norms that allow various forms of violence to continue within our communities. For example, it is not uncommon for events to have the requirement that certain groups are relied on rather than the whole community, which can isolate different organizations. One guest talked about the hypersexualization of sorority women by fraternities and how this shows up in party culture and in the way that organizations can even be “ranked” and discussed among community members with misogynistic comments. It is not uncommon for folks to determine if they can attend an event with a specific organization by asking themselves the question of if they feel safe with the people in the organization or not. Even when it comes down to the policies that are in place for parties, housing, and recruitment, there is a strong leaning towards stricter policies or traditions for sororities which can lead to some victim-blaming ideas. While there is a strong amount of education around consent, sexual assault, and other issues of power-based personal violence at UCI specifically within fraternities and sororities, there is still an underlying culture that creates some of the norms surrounding victim-blaming or misogyny.

In looking forward and thinking about the direction our guests would like to see our community go, they discussed the following action items:

• Continue education on these issues and actively address the root causes.
• Stop tokenization of members with specific identities and focus on how the organization can better serve them.
• Ensure education does not continue to marginalize already marginalized communities and does not do more harm.
• Normalize having these conversations and these issues affect all organizations.
• Hold individuals and organizations accountable, recognize past actions, and move forward by doing better.

Overall, our guests left the conversation with many different ideas of how we can continue to create a culture on our campus, within and outside of these organizations, that prevents power-based personal violence from happening. Join the conversation by talking about some of these questions with people in your life, listen to the full episodes, or signing up for a program with CARE at linktr.ee/ucicare.