Generational Trauma
Authors: Dong-Anh Ngo, Antonia Gonzalez
In episode 17 of the Narrative Project, members of the UCI community discuss their personal experiences and perspectives on generational trauma.
Opening the conversation of generational trauma, the group defines what generational trauma means to them, as well as how it manifests itself in their lives. The group had similar definitions of generational trauma, with it being trauma that’s passed down from one generation to the next due to a variety of reasons connected to traumatic experiences — war veterans, refugees, violence, natural disasters, etc. The group then answers how generational trauma presents itself. Parenting styles, and the way their parents interacted with them was one of the primary ways the group agreed was how it presented itself. They shared personal experiences of how this was shown through distant communicative styles from their parents, or certain mindsets that were passed down to them. The group recognized and conversed that the harsh and cold approach from their parents wasn’t intentional, and they shared the experience of having cultural factors that affect their parents’ perception of mental health. Additionally, the group also agreed that mental health wasn’t being prioritized for their parents’ generation since they were struggling to physically survive, especially in the cases of poverty, being a refugee, war veteran, or immigrant. For more information on the connection between generational trauma and parenting styles, check out this study.
This led to a discussion on how there are different gender roles in different cultures, and this affects the way mental health is stigmatized. An individual spoke about how they saw their mother equating sacrifice as love, and how this impacted them growing up. This idea that sacrifice equates to love fosters an unhealthy mindset that they must expect their partners to do the same, and vice versa, they need to sacrifice a lot to “prove” that they loved their parents. The group also discussed how this can affect future interactions when developing relationships, with an individual stating how they struggle with codependency due to this mindset that was passed down to their generation.This was seen as a shared commonality in some cultures where women are positioned at a self-sacrificing position. Another individual noted how the gender roles and norms in their culture heavily normalized the sexual abuse that their mother and grandmother experienced, as well as their own. For more information about gender-based violence and generational trauma, check out this article.
The discussion shifts to how generational affects the group in their personal lives. An individual stated how it was difficult for them to navigate the differing gender and cultural norms between the generations. The group shared the consensus that it could be hard to practice self-care, as they are always trying to work harder to prove to their parents that the sacrifices they made were worth it. Another individual talked about how the normalization of childhood sexual abuse in their family caused a vicious cycle, and the PTSD symptoms continues to be passed down to the next generation. Another individual explained about how the handling of traumatic experiences in their family was unresolved and nonchalant, and this affected the way they communicated, as well as their mental health. Additionally, they explained the struggles of trying to overachieve, yet always feel like they’re underachieving and being constantly self-critical as another way generational trauma affected them.
The group then answers how generational trauma specifically impacted the way they interact with other peers. They all agree that generational trauma has caused them to be more empathetic towards peers of minority groups who share similar life experiences, and it also made them “sensitive to ignorance” from peers who are ignorant or apathetic. An individual stated that generational trauma affected their anxiety and ability to speak up when around peers and faculty, in fear that they’d be criticized or chastised for it. Another individual emphasized the importance of realizing that they can advocate for themselves, especially since they were told to “not ask questions” and to keep their head down. For more information, check this interesting study on childhood trauma and PTSD in relation to generational effects of trauma and parental PTSD.
In the next section, the group answers how to bring up generational trauma with their parents and the older generations. There was an agreement that it’s best not to communicate with your parents and the older generations in an aggressive or accusatory manner. Additionally, language was discussed as an important tool. Using serious and proper language to call out abuse, instead of dismissing it by using normalized terms that the older generation is used to. This gives a voice and definition of the toxic behavior that needs to be called out for. Furthermore, educating the older generations with relatable pages where they can understand and learn more about mental health, what abuse looks like, etc. The group also agreed that extending compassion to the older generation was crucial for them to learn better coping mechanisms for their trauma.
This transitioned to discussing how to bridge the gap of mental health between the generations. The group acknowledges how hard it is for the older generation to be vulnerable and open up on the topic of mental health, especially if they don’t understand what it is. An individual stated that “vulnerability fosters connection,” normalizing the conversation of mental health in the family and also expressing themself was something that worked for them. They also utilized meditation as a helpful tool to bridge this gap. Another individual stated how it’s important not to be aggressive in the language and approach towards the older generation, as this can cause the communication ro shut down. For a different individual, talking about mental health in a normalized and light-hearted way was a way for them to bridge this gap. It’s important to note that every family is different, and with that comes the different dynamics and approaches to bridge the gap! For more information on how re-visiting and re-narrating trauma can be a tool for healing, check out this study.
“It starts with you…”
To end the conversation, the group discusses ways in which they think they can heal from generational trauma, and how they can support others. They agree that the healing “starts with you,” and in order to break the cycle of generational trauma, one must stop it during their generation. An individual spoke about how this means they have to be putting in the work and healing themself. Another individual stated about finding the right partner who shares the same mindset in order to avoid continuing the cycle of generational trauma. Additionally, giving trauma a voice, connecting with others, and letting them know they aren’t alone. The individual also noted that healing is non-linear and reaching out to other folks and supporting them are ways to break the cycle. Significantly, the group agrees on the importance of supporting and validating others, as well as continuing as a generation of healing to be a model of healing for the future generations! For more information regarding generational trauma, and ways to work through the trauma, check out this article.
