Healthy Relationships: A Mental Health Perspective

In a world of bustling cities, stressful deadlines, little sleep, and virtually no time to talk to one another, we often forget how important healthy relationships are in our lives. Healthy relationships can come in a variety of shapes and sizes, including friendships, romantic interests, mentor and mentee, and familial ties. These relationships can provide many benefits, and several of those benefits directly relate to mental health.

Before I get into the benefits of healthy relationships, I want to first list characteristics of healthy relationships. Healthy relationships include:

1. Effective communication- communicate your wants and needs, talk about your feelings, actively listen to the other person, resolve conflicts effectively (Love is Respect, n.d.; Onelove, n.d.)
2. Mutual respect- uphold and respect boundaries, love the other person for who they are (Love is Respect, n.d.; Onelove, n.d.)
3. Support- be the person’s biggest supporter, provide comfort, be their shoulder to cry on
4. Trust- tell the truth, be confident in your relationship (Love is Respect, n.d.; Onelove, n.d.)
5. Honesty- be open, let them know the truth, communicate your intentions (Love is Respect, n.d.; Onelove, n.d.)
6. Equality- find balance in the relationship, compromise, hear each other out, share power, split responsibilities (Love is Respect, n.d.; Onelove, n.d.)
7. Independence- make time for your other friends, family, and loved ones, keep your hobbies, make time for alone time (Onelove, n.d.)
8. A comfortable pace- develop the relationship at a pace that feels comfortable, keep your limits and boundaries in check (Onelove, n.d.)
9. Kindness- be kind, be gentle, take care of yourself and the other person, cultivate love and compassion (Onelove, n.d.)
10. Responsibility- admit when you are wrong, sincerely apologize when necessary, own up to your actions (Onelove, n.d.)
11. Fun- have fun! Go on adventures, schedule time to see each other, enjoy each other’s company (Onelove, n.d.)

If you want to learn about the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships, please reference this ted talk.

Now that I have discussed the signs of a healthy relationship, I’d like to outline some of the benefits of healthy relationships in regards to mental health. When discussing the benefits of healthy relationships, it is important to note that the relationship must not only be healthy but also be one of quality in order to receive the mental health benefits (Harvard Health Publishing Harvard Medical School, 2019; Holt-Lunstad et al., 2008). A high-quality relationship is a relationship that promotes psychological safety, allows people to safely engage in the relationship and relationship behaviors, and allows people to feel appreciated and valued (Kahn, 2007, as cited in Carmeli & Hoffer Gittell, 2009). In studying how marital status and quality of marriage affect mental health, Holt-Lunstad et al. (2008) found that people in “high-quality relationships had better [mental health] outcomes than those in low-quality relationships” (240). In other words, the relationship must also be high in quality for it to be advantageous. Regarding mental health, healthy relationships can:

1. Reduce stress and cortisol production (Harvard Health Publishing Harvard Medical School, 2019; Health University of Utah, 2017; Holt-Lunstad et al., 2008; Northwestern Medicine, n.d.)
2. Reduce depression (Braithwaite et al., 2010; Holt-Lunstad et al., 2008)
3. Lower the rates of binge drinking and drinking in general (Braithwaite et al., 2010)
4. Lower risk of dementia (Harvard Health Publishing Harvard Medical School, 2019)
5. Lower rates of anxiety and mood disorders (Braithwaite et al., 2010)
6. Increase life satisfaction and happiness (Holt-Lunstad et al., 2008)
7. Give a person a sense of well-being and purpose (Northwestern Medicine, n.d.)

Given the benefits of healthy relationships, it is crucial to keep these relationships alive and well in your life. It is especially important to keep these relationships alive during troubling times, such as the COVID-19 pandemic.

The COVID-19 pandemic has had an impact on many relationships all over the world. Some of these impacts have been good; I’ve heard several uplifting stories from my friends and family on how the pandemic has brought them closer to their loved ones. On the other hand, I’ve also heard stories about painful breakups, strained familial relationships, and stressful friendships. In a survey of 14 countries and regions, researchers found that in the US, 22% of Americans claimed family relationships have ended or become strained due to COVID-19, 17% said their friendships have ended or become strained, and 15% said their intimate relationships have ended or become strained due to COVID-19 (Smith, 2020).

Not only has COVID-19 put a strain on relationships, but it has also put a significant strain on mental health around the world. 56% of Americans claimed that COVID-19 has had a negative impact on their mental health (Smith, 2020). Although this statistic may be shocking, it is a statistic that makes sense. Some people have lost their jobs, some are experiencing financial difficulties, people are being forced to stay home, people are overwhelmed by changes in school and work, etc. To add to that stress, relationships are deteriorating for some people, as I’ve outlined in the paragraph above. This does not make for a good combination.

In order to reduce damage to relationships, and potentially increase mental well-being, I would like to list ways in which you can keep relationships alive during periods of physical distancing and periods of remote work and school. If you want a more in-depth version of these tips, visit this article.

1. Find unique ways to keep in touch- play online games, have virtual movie dates through an app that allows chatting in the background
2. Respect boundaries, especially digital boundaries- understand that some individuals are on online platforms all day due to working or schooling from home, and they may be experiencing “Zoom fatigue”
3. Respect alone time- many individuals are overwhelmed right now due to being forced inside with their families and it is important to allow for alone time to recoup and rest
4. Enjoy your relationships- try to have fun and enjoy your relationships as much as possible in the unfamiliar times we all have been experiencing

After reviewing this article, you may ask yourself the following questions to facilitate discussion and further thought process: Are my relationships healthy? How can I improve my relationships? How does my mental health benefit from my current relationships? In thinking about these questions, you are well on your way to discovering the true value of relationships.

References

Braithwaite, S. R., Delevi, R., & Fincham, F. D. (2010). Romantic relationships and the physical and mental health of college students. Journal of the International Association for Relationship Research, 17(1), 1–12. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2010.01248.x.

Carmeli, A., & Hoffer Gittell, J. (2009). High-quality relationships, psychological safety, and learning from failures in work organizations. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 30(6), 709–729. https://doi.org/10.1002/job.565.

Costello, J. (n.d.). How to maintain healthy friendships during quarantine. Onelove. https://www.joinonelove.org/learn/how-to-maintain-healthy-friendships-during-quarantine/.

Harvard Health Publishing Harvard Medical School. (2019, August 6). The health benefits of strong relationships. https://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletter_article/the-health-benefits-of-strong-relationships.

Health University of Utah. (2017, February 14). Seven reasons why loving relationships are good for you. https://healthcare.utah.edu/healthfeed/postings/2017/02/relationships.php.

Holt-Lunstad, J., Birmingham, W., & Jones, B. Q. (2008). Is there something unique about marriage? The relative impact of marital status, relationship quality, and network social support on ambulatory blood pressure and mental health. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 35(2), 239–244. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-008-9018-y.

Kahn, W. A. (2007). Meaningful Connections: Positive Relationships and Attachments at Work. In J. E. Dutton & B. R. Ragins (Eds.), LEA’s organization and management series. Exploring positive relationships at work: Building a theoretical and research foundation (p. 189–206). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers.

Love is Respect. (n.d.). Relationship spectrum. https://www.loveisrespect.org/healthy-relationships/relationship-spectrum/.

Northwestern Medicine. (n.d.). 5 benefits of healthy relationships. https://www.nm.org/healthbeat/healthy-tips/5-benefits-of-healthy-relationships.

Onelove. (n.d.). 10 signs of a healthy relationship. https://www.joinonelove.org/signs-healthy-relationship/.

Smith, M. (2020, December 14). International study: How has coronavirus affected people’s personal lives?. YouGov. https://today.yougov.com/topics/relationships/articles-reports/2020/12/14/global-poll-coronavirus-relationships-family.