Self-Care After an Experience of Power-Based Personal Violence

Practicing self-care can be a challenge to implement in our daily lives. It can be exceptionally challenging following an experience of power-based personal violence (PBPV) as the harm can impact one’s self- mind, body, and soul. PBPV is any act where power is used to exert control or intimidate, including sexual assault, domestic/partner violence, family violence, and stalking. After an experience one might not have the same energy, focus, or even mental capacities to sustain a regular practice of self-care. Because of this, self-care practices might look vastly different. To better understand how self-care might look different after PBPV, let’s start by defining self-care.

The WHO (World Health Organization) defines self-care as “the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider (2022). ” Looking at the WHO’s definition we see that self-care is not just a practice used to manage stress reactions but is more importantly something we use to maintain lower stress levels throughout our life. As therapist and author Nedra Glover Tawab explains in an Instagram post “self-care is proactive and used to stay well and maintain…peace (February, 2022).”

After an experience of PBPV the nervous system is often highly activated. A highly activated nervous system, or common reactions to a traumatic experience, look different for everyone. Common examples might include crying often, feelings of hypervigilance, dissociation, flashbacks, nightmares, gastrointestinal issues, and general feelings of increased stress. As more energy is now being siphoned to manage our highly activated nervous system, it can feel like there is a scarcity of energy left to tend to other aspects of one’s life. This can make it extremely challenging to engage in even the most mundane of tasks such as eating regularly, keeping organized, or engaging with loved ones. Because of this, self-care is ever more important but it will look and feel very different than before an experience of PBPV. This might mean that 10 minutes of yoga or being among friends for 30 minutes is now exhausting whereas before PBPV one may have been able to engage in these activities for much longer. As challenging as it might be, working to accept these new energy levels is important so that one can meet oneself where they are at. As a gentle reminder, self-care is always changing and as healing takes place it will not always be such a challenge. Engaging in a regular practice of self-care is more important than how long one is able to practice.

For some examples of self-care that address one’s mind, body and soul, take a look at the Olga Phoenix Self-Care Wheel which divides examples of self-care into the following categories: physical, psychological, emotional, spiritual, personal, professional. This self-care wheel is free for personal use and is available to download at the link provided.

If this article resonates, it might be difficult to know how and where to start a regular practice of self-care after PBPV. During the Spring Quarter, CARE will be sharing journal prompts that focus on how to engage in self-care after an experience of PBPV. Beginning Monday April 4th, and ending May 9th the journal prompts will post to Facebook, Instagram, & Twitter (@UCICARE) at 12noon every Monday. Come journal with us (which is a self-care practice)!

References

Nedra Glover Tawab, Self-Care is Proactive Not Reactive, directed by Nedra Glover Tawab (2022; Charlotte, North Carolina), Instagram.

World Health Organization (2022) What Do We Mean By Self-Care? https://www.who.int/reproductivehealth/self-care-interventions/definitions/en/