Sex and Drugs: Consent Under the Influence
Authors: Melissa Bader-Huesgen and Abby Hyland
As we begin another academic year, we are given another opportunity to take actions and send messages that shape the culture of the community we are creating. This is especially important for the 2021–2022 academic year with so many new members joining us as well as continuing community members reintroducing themselves to on campus interactions. There are also changes that have been made to the boundaries our community members may have and a variety of other factors to take into consideration. One of the most important things that we can do to create a community that is welcoming and safe for everyone, new and returning, is to ensure that we are upholding the values of respect and communication. One way of upholding these values is through understanding consent and ensuring that you are always asking for it in practice.
Now, you might be thinking that consent is only relevant when engaging in sexual acts, but let’s think about consent more broadly. Consent recognizes that our bodies belong to us and we have sole authority over our own bodies. This means we are free to determine if, how, when, where, how often, and long we interact and communicate regardless of context. Regardless of the setting or situation in which we are talking about consent, it’s important to remember that it’s not a formal box we need to ‘check off.’ Rather, consent is about respect, listening, and open communication and allows for the individual to have a say over what happens each step of the way with the opportunity to stop the interaction at any time.
A simple way to think about consent is through a pretty popular food item, fries. Consent is freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific. So what do these things mean?
Freely Given: Consenting is a choice you make without pressure, manipulation, or under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Reversible: Anyone can change their mind about what they feel like doing, anytime. Even if you have done it before or in the middle of an activity.
Informed: You can only consent to something if you have the full story. For example, if someone says they will use a condom, then they don’t, there isn’t full consent.
Enthusiastic: Consent means we are excited and ready to engage in whatever it is that we are doing rather than feeling like we have to.
Specific: Saying yes to one thing does not mean a yes for other things. For example, if someone says they are okay with making out that doesn’t mean they are also okay with sex. Remember to get consent for each activity you are engaging in.
And not only do we want to remember this acronym, but also remember that all of our interactions vary from person to person and it’s important to not assume what someone is or is not okay with. Just like there are many ways to enjoy fries and not everyone likes them the same way, there are many ways that people prefer to be touched, interacted with, and communicated to.
Approximately 1 out of 4 first-year college students consume alcohol prior to their “hookups” (Thorpe, et al., 2020), so how does drug usage affect our ability to provide consent? When we are under the influence of a drug our feelings of overall safety can be reduced. This may be due to diminished capacity in our working memory and executive functioning, so we know that drug-taking reduces verbal and nonverbal ability to communicate consent (Smith, Turner-Moore, & Kolokotroni, 2020). Under
California Law, consent cannot be given if any person is “prevented from resisting by any intoxicating or anesthetic substance”.
You have the right to take away your consent at any time — regardless of whether or not you are under the influence of a drug. There is a period of time prior to experiencing the effects of the drugs, where individuals are likely to communicate and negotiate their consent, but as the drug’s effects reach their peak, the ability to communicate may diminish (Smith, Turner-Moore, & Kolokotroni, 2020). Substances can inhibit someone’s ability to communicate what they do and do not feel comfortable with, so it is vital to check in with your partner.
In order to help us ensure that we are coming back to campus and starting our year off strong, here are some tips for reducing harm in our community in regards to consent, alcohol, and other drugs.
Trust your gut: if you don’t feel comfortable or you are sensing hesitancy in the moment, communicate this with the other person. This builds trust and makes sure that everyone is aware of what is going on.
Communicate consistently: It’s important to ensure consent is being given by checking in before, during, and after any activity.
- Before you’re in the moment where you need to ask for consent to a physical activity consider if you have had conversations already about sex, what may influence consent between you and your partner(s), and what you are comfortable with.
- In the moment, you want to ask for consent prior to any physical or sexual act, whether it has been done together before or not. To do this make sure you are being clear, asking without the expectation of a certain answer, and paying attention to other cues.
- After consent has been asked for, continue forward while communicating and checking in if they say yes. If they say no or appear uncomfortable, accept the answer and stop.
Check in with your partner(s) before drug-taking occurs
- If given the opportunity, before you consume any substances, have a conversation with your partner(s) to communicate your expectations and boundaries while under the influence.
- Utilize FRIES to guide your conversation.
If drug-taking occurs, before any activity check in with your partner(s)
- Remember to be clear, ask without expectation of a certain answer, and try to pay attention to other cues your partner may be giving (i.e. hesitation, uncomfortable body language, are they fully aware of surroundings, and are they cognitively aware)
- Always remember that regardless of what is said before you are under the influence, you have the right to remove your consent at any point.
Respect is at the forefront of creating an inclusive environment on our campus. Respecting each other’s bodies, cultures, and personal boundaries will provide room for consent to be integrated into our lives seamlessly. You have the sole authority over your own body and regardless if you are under the influence of any substances, you have the right to take away consent at any time.
Check out the resources below and reach out to the CARE Officeand the Center for Student Wellness and Health Promotion if you have any questions or concerns.
Works Cited:
Smith, L and Turner-Moore, T and Kolokotroni, KZ (2020) Making and Communicating Decisions about Sexual Consent during Drug-Involved Sex : A Thematic Synthesis. Journal of Sex Research. ISSN 0022–4499 DOI: https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2019.1706072
Thorpe, S., Ware, S., Tanner, A. E., Kugler, K. C., Guastaferro, K., Milroy, J. J., & Wyrick, D. L. (2020). Sexual sensation seeking, hookups, and alcohol consumption among first-year college students. Journal of American College Health, 1–8.
