The Socialization of Gender

By: Jasmine Chvilicek

In episode 11 of the Narrative Project, members of the UCI community discuss the socialization of gender.

In order to delve into how Narrative Project guests view, think about, and perform gender, UCI members propose some thought-provoking questions about gender and gender experiences:

1. What is gender to you?
2. How did you learn about gender, and what have you learned about gender in your own experiences?
3. When was the first time you remember thinking about your gender?

The guests agreed that gender is something you feel. It is an expression that helps you feel most comfortable and most like yourself. Gender is also something that can be perceived; you can perceive other people’s gender, and they can perceive yours. Gender is something that can be constructed by society, and it is something that is not always a personal choice. Likewise, the guests believe that gender is fluid, and that there is not a “right” way to embody or express gender.

Regarding gender experiences, all of the guests commented on their experiences from childhood. Many remember growing up in a gender neutral household where they were allowed to choose their own clothing and play with the toys they wanted to play with. They claim that there were little to no restrictions in the friend or family group and everyone was pretty open about gender. Many of them explained that they didn’t always realize they were learning about gender when they were younger, as it was something that was circulated throughout everyday life. They do remember learning gender stereotypes and gender roles from their peers, however. One individual remembers being shamed for being faster than boys on the playground just because she was a girl.

In terms of thinking about gender, one guest recalls thinking about her gender for the first time in response to a discussion about traveling alone. One of her good friends, who identified as male, was discussing traveling the world alone. The guest thought that it would be cool to travel alone, but thought twice about what traveling alone meant for her; although it sounded interesting, it was a large safety concern for her. She realized that, because she was and identified as a woman, traveling the world alone could be dangerous. Another guest recalls thinking about her gender for the first time when she took gender and sexuality courses at UC Irvine. She explains that these classes forced her to think about the socialization and construction of gender and what her gender meant to her.

In the next section of the podcast, UCI members begin to dissect the socialization of gender by asking the following questions:

1. What would you consider the socialization of gender?
2. How are gender specific spaces created? How can we make them inclusive?

All in all, the guests believed that the socialization of gender occurs before you are even born due to the fact that many doctors and parents assign gender to the child in the womb. Once this is done, parents often raise the child in ways that align with the gender assigned at birth. Parents may also raise the child with certain expectations on how to view, think about, and perform their gender. Moreover, participating in and facilitating events and practices such as baby showers, gender reveal parties, and buying gendered toys or clothing also contribute to the socialization of gender.

In terms of gender specific spaces, guests believed that these spaces are created through socialization as well. For example, one guest commented that even if a space is considered to be a non-gendered space, there still seems to be an expectation that individuals will perform gender in a way society sees fit; these spaces can be seen as hyper-gendered because of the fact that they are assumed to be non-gendered. In order to make these spaces more inclusive, there needs to be a sense of community, vulnerability, respect, and trust. Some safe spaces are naturally ‘closed spaces’ in which, in order to make them safe, there needs to be a restriction on who is allowed to enter and engage with the space. For example, if there is a support group for those with substance addiction, the group may be restricted only to those who have that particular substance addiction in order for those in the group to be able to foster trust and respect.

The next section of questions explores how gender is performed:

1. How does society view femininity, masculinity, and androgyny? How have these understandings changed over time?
2. What does it mean to perform gender? How has COVID affected this performance?

Regarding femininity, masculinity, and androgyny, the guests commented on several things. The guests commented on the traits that are typically associated with femininity (sensitivity, motherliness, caring) and traits typically associated with masculinity (strength, aggression, power). They also commented on how androgyny is presented in a masculine way, and that society still wants androgyny to fit into two categories even though we don’t want to label it as such. Additionally, feminine and masculine traits, particularly those that reflect heteronormativity, were something that many of the guests believed to be pushed onto marginalized groups, such as the LGBTQ+ community. As an example, one of the guests brought up the fact that many people question who is the “male” and who is the “female” in LGBTQ+ relationships. Many of the guests agreed that individuals can now perform any of the traits associated with any gender and not receive much backlash in doing so. If you are interested in learning more about gender expression and these traits,refer to this video: “Gender Expression in Youth” | Sydney | TEDxYouth@IMSA | https://www.ted.com/talks/sydney_gender_expression_in_youth

For performance of gender, guests believed that performing gender meant to act as a certain gender so that you perceive yourself or others perceive you as that specific gender. In performing gender, there is a certain amount of control an individual has. You can choose your own style, what to wear, how to wear it, and how to act. COVID has allowed people to go outside of their boundaries and explore different ways to perform gender. For example, many guests claimed that they now prioritize comfort over glamour because they are in their own homes. Others have explored different clothing styles and different haircuts. Many also commented on how social media has encouraged them to explore different gender performances, as many feel comfortable enough to explore when they view others exploring the performances as well. If you would like to explore gender expression further, please refer to this video: “Gender as a Performance” | Ali Hannon | TEDxKingstonUponThames | https://www.ted.com/talks/ali_hannon_gender_as_a_performance

If you want to learn more about the socialization of gender please tune it to Episode 11 of the Narrative Project.