Helping the Board make decisions
In a couple of months I will come to the end of my first year as a board director of a UK housing association. It continues to be a very interesting and challenging experience. To say it is nothing like I expected would be extending the truth. But it has started to have a profound affect on how I view myself and others.
Until my early twenties things were fairly black and white. I was always right and everyone else was wrong. When I had made a decision that was it. If you disagreed you were wrong, my way was the best.
I started to work in a pretty stressful position as an account manager for a printing company. I quickly realised the failure to admit when you are wrong was a massively destructive attitude. Things would go wrong (we would print pages out of order) and I would be at the sharp end telling the customer. I didn’t care who was wrong or who was right. I didn’t need to blame anyone. All I needed to know was “What are we going to do now?” and “Can we prevent this happening again?”. But the blame culture present in the organisation was overwhelming. Trying to change this was an uphill struggle.
At times I made mistakes. In an attempt to aid in a more open culture I would admit these immediately. No need for a cover up “I messed up” would be my answer. The response would often lead me to understand why there was such a fear of failure. “Well that’s coming out of your waste budget”, “How stupid are you?”, “That was never going to work!”
This fear of being singled out for blame held back the company. The fear of making the wrong decision held the company back.
As I have aged (hopefully gracefully) I have grown a pretty thick skin. I am happy to admit when I am wrong, and welcome feedback good and especially bad. It helps me develop as a person. However I have recently come to the realisation that I have failed. Failed to understand that not everyone is the same, makes decisions in the same way, or thinks the same as me.
In recent board meetings there have been a few contentious issues where I have gone against the majority. Feedback I have received both directly and indirectly suggests that it is the way I objected that was remembered rather than the reasons for my objection.
My language and demeanour was direct and uncompromising and I realise it may have unintentionally come across as my young 20 year old self. But I wasn’t afraid to be wrong nor was I seeking approval from everyone else. I didn’t need everyone else to agree with me just to consider why I was objecting.
I had forgotten one of the most important tools at my disposal as a board director: Asking questions.
I had put forward my points of view with the assumption everyone else would understand my reasons. Instead I needed to help them come to an informed decision while also using my questions to reach that decision. I wasn’t suggesting I was right and everyone else was wrong. In all honesty I wasn’t sure if I was right or wrong. I just felt they needed to give more consideration to the alternatives. I failed to achieve that because of my behaviour.
The most important thing as a board director to remember is that it is not about winning an argument it is about helping the organisation make informed decisions.
The next board meeting is coming up and I have my board papers. Time to come up with those questions.
