Porn by Another Name
I’ve felt for a long time that porn has seeped into pop culture and mainstream tv and films in cataclysmic ways. You can hardly watch any popular show without there being a very vivid sex scene at least twice in one season. Even at 23 I remember a time when an intimate moment between two lovers would cut off right before things got really steamy. If a viewer wanted to use their imagination they could, but if they wanted to just take the moment for what it was they were allowed to do that also.
These days, shows basically show you penetration, but at an angle or covered only by thighs. The viewer is not left to her imagination. Rather, her imagination is essentially turned off because everything is put on display. In that way, there is this insanely reductionist presentation of sex that the viewing public is getting. That is no doubt an inheritance from the porn industry. One of the problems with showing the sex scene is that you limit it. The average tv show probably shows no more than 10 seconds of a sex scene. It’s filled with flashes of two people intertwined in various positions because, I suppose, they don’t want you to miss anything.
So the viewer gets these highly stimulating 5 seconds that take them from the characters undressing to climaxing which is the amount of time it takes to do….nothing in the real world. Then, it’s over. Commercial break. Show returns and it’s a completely different scene in which all the characters are solving crimes or bantering in the office.
It’s not only physically reductionist but spiritually vapid.
For those who deem sex as something more than physical, these scenes tend to be highly uninteresting. Spirit is something that tv usually has a hard time capturing.
Of course, tv does not have to mirror reality, although directors and actors often sell their shows as being “real” and “relatable.” Arguably, these 5-second sex scenes are trying to mimic reality. Yet, I have a hunch that the “leave it to your imagination” strategy feels more real for people. After all, seeing two total strangers have sex is not a part of our quotidian reality. However, we do see people- strangers and friends- in love or in lust quite often and we do assume that what we see in public transfers to their bedroom lives. As pleasant as it may be to see our friends exchange loving glances, we don’t want to see our friends having sex.
The same kinds of harsh criticism that have been leveled against the porn industry should be directed at mainstream media as well. These scenes and images are manipulative- they manipulate our understanding of what is possible in sex and they contribute to the commodification of everything. So that not only does the viewer want the actresses lipstick shade and handbag, but she also wants her sex life and her bedroom behavior. Some things can’t be bought or imitated and that’s for good reason. Just as many people have successfully argued that porn is damaging to our lives, relationships, and families, the same criticism can be extended to the most revealing sex scenes on cable and non-cable tv as well as photos of celebrities with barely-there underwear.
The line between porn and mainstream portrayals of sexuality have blurred to such an extent that I think it’s fair to say we’ve all seen a little porn whether we wanted to or not. And it’s a vicious cycle. The more is shown the more they have to show because what was tantalizing last year is stale this year. And yet, these scenes are so homogenous- somehow mainstream media has succeeded in making sex boring. Saw one sex scene, saw them all. When people are left to their imaginations they get to decide how far they want to take it, if at all. Mainstream media insists on dictating to us what sex should look like- an irony in a country in which sex has become so tied to freedom.
Further reading
2. “Pornified” by Pamela Paul
