If you need help — like, right meow!
If you’re currently burned out, in survival mode, or having stress-related health issues, here are some places to start…
I’ll go deeper into LOTS of points from this article in separate posts, but for anyone who needs the facts right now, these are some of the things that helped me get my life back on track after mental and physical burnout. Take what works for you and leave the rest. At the very least I hope it gives you some search terms and immediate actions to take.
In the year before my stroke I remember multiple days when I was too exhausted to even get up and eat, spend time with the kids, talk to friends, or do anything physical. I had daily headaches. I was gaining weight for no identifiable reason. I just kept telling myself to stop being lazy and get over it. Once I finally gave up and started actually giving my body and mind what they needed, I started healing. I am happier, more fulfilled by and better paid for my job, my partner and I are closer, my relationships with friends and family are deeper and more real. But if I had known to take all of the signs seriously years ago, I could’ve fixed things before nearly killing myself — and imposing the same expectations, judgements and unhealthy programming on everyone around me.
Love you,
Jen
1. The team of doctors that helped me
I recommend looking at both physical and mental health. Find the doctors, specialists, therapists and trainers you need, then share your lab and test results with all of them. You’ll get different perspectives based on their specialty, then decide what’s right for you.
Primary Care or Family Physician
- Start here, it should be relatively easy to get an appointment. Tell them how you’re feeling and about your lifestyle. They can do basic tests and lab work. They’ll also give you referrals to any specialists you need.
- I recommend being a hypochondriac for awhile and being candid about anything hurts or just feels “off”. I also recommend going to this appointment with someone who knows you well — a partner, roommate, bff. My partner told my doctor lots of things I didn’t think of and it made a huge difference.
- I also recommend a Primary Care Doctor that’s actually a nurse — mine is an ACNS-BC (Adult Clinical Nurse Specialist-Board Certified). In my experience nurses just think and communicate more like humans, ask different questions, are better listeners, and take the time to notice smaller signs.
Neuro Psychiatrist
- Every 3 months (all of my appointments are online)
- Can order lab work and prescribe mediations
- I prefer neuro psychiatrists if I have to take any brain chemical balancing medications because they’re more scientific about the what’s, why’s and how’s behind medications and how it effects my brain. I insist that she orders ALL of my meds regardless of who prescribed them or what they’re for. Then one qualified person is paying attention to everything I’m taking and focused on getting me off of shit I don’t need long term.
Functional Medicine (doctors, neurologists, nutritionists, therapists)
- Neuro was in person, everything else online
- PRO: I got A LOT of hard data that helped me understand what was going on with my body that I wasn’t getting from traditional doctors or specialists. Helped me look at things holistically and heal faster.
- CON: You have to take the approach that you’re in charge and you say when enough is enough.
Craniosacral Therapist
My neurologist actually prescribed this “alternative treatment”. In my opinion, it is critical if you need to reset your nervous system immediately, as well as learn to maintain it better on your own. You’re going to be weirded out, just go with it.
Therapist
- Emergency situation = 1-2x/week
- Actively working through things = every 2 weeks
- Maintaining awareness = every 6 months
- Look for someone who does cognitive behavioral and EMDR. I search for therapists offering the services I’m interested in, then reach out to them describing my situation and goals to ask if we’re a good fit.
Personal Trainer / Fitness Coach
- 1–2x/week (all of my appointments are online)
- Exercise truly helps me manage stress and recover from burnout. It also helps me from not feeling like an old, helpless invalid. You need someone who understands your personal needs, limitations and age appropriate approaches.
- Having a millennial as a coach is a completely different and mentally healthier experience. This woman has been a huge part of my journey.
Nutritionist
- 1–3 months of sessions (all of my appointments were online)
- Can order lab work
- Food plays a big role in all of this. What we eat, the order we eat it in, the times of day we eat — it all effects your energy and mental focus.
- Water. I’ve found if you just start with 64oz of clean, filtered water every day it makes a huge difference.
2. Regulating your nervous system
For me, the root cause of my health problems came down to unmanaged stress over a long period of time. Learning to regulate my nervous system made a huge difference.
Sympathetic nervous system
How the body responds to stress.
Feels like:
- feeling full of frenetic energy — “ego buzzed” — often spurred by how I’m handling a stressful situation (usually work related but could be family, friends, etc.)—it’s an adrenaline rush and it’s highly addictive
- tension in my stomach, abdomen, heart, neck and shoulders
- tension and migraine headaches
- I’d rather consume sugars, carbs, coffee, alcohol, cigarettes — anything that will give me the energy to push through — than eat healthy foods, or even eat at all
- feeling anxious but it’s my default state so I’m not necessarily aware of it, or can understand why
- subconsciously feeling fear about how others are perceiving and judging me
- not being able to get to sleep or stay asleep because I can’t turn my brain off or I can’t relax
- feeling guilty for needing rest
- taking a “just work harder and get it done” approach
If you keep pushing and don’t listen to your body, your body will take matters into it’s own hands and force you to stop — hello stroke, heart attack, cancer, auto immune, etc.
Parasympathetic nervous system
The body in it’s natural, baseline state of rest.
Feels like:
- deep heaviness in my abdomen
- all of my muscles feel alive and relaxed
- my mind is quiet and focused on the present moment
- my responses to situations, others, and myself are kinder and more thoughtful
- I’m unshakeable in my identity, self-worth, and sense of peace
- I take pleasure and joy in every little thing — even washing my hands or seeing a bird
- I don’t need validation from others
- my work becomes more about helping others find their way into this state, then watching as everything gets easier and our results improve
Tools to regulate your nervous system
3. Getting your data
Daily tracking
Get an Apple Watch Series 8 and use these functions:
- Heart rate
- Blood oxygen
- Sleep
- Pedometer
- Guided breathing meditation reminders
Lab work
You can do this through any doctor, nutritionist or psychiatrist or use at-home tests.
For stress, exhaustion, anxiety, and adrenal markers my doctors ordered these labs:
- Fe+TIBC+Fer
- TSH+Free T4
- CBC With Differential/Platelet
- Comp. Metabolic Panel
- Lipid Panel
- FSH and LH
- Testosterone, Free and Total
- Hemoglobin A1c
- DHEA-Sulfate
- Cortisol
- Estradiol
- Reverse T3, Serum
- Vitamin D, 25-Hydroxy
- Vitamin B3
- C-Reactive Protein, Cardiac
- Homocyst(e)ine
- GGT
- Thyroxine (T4)
- Thyroid Antibodies
- Progesterone
- Insulin
- Estrone, Serum
- Triiodothyronine (T3), Free T3
- Sex Horm Binding Glob, Serum
- Antinuclear Antibodies, IFA
- Venipuncture
4. Things you can do right now
Cold eye compress
- Cold triggers stress in your body. Use cold compresses to create stress in a controlled way so you can train your body to raise your sympathetic nervous system’s trigger threshold. Put it on your eyes for 30 minutes or as long as you can stand it once a day.
- Cold eye compress >
Supplements
- Melatonin
I take 1 mg 2–3 hours before bed so I sleep through the night. Start with 1 mg, see if it helps, add more as needed. Some people need 20 mg — it’s different for everyone.
Life Extension Melatonin > - Fish oil
I take at morning and at night. Helps with mental focus and keeping all your joints and muscles flexible.
Nordic Naturals ProOmega 2000 >
Make your home a calming space
Having physical objects around that make you feel calm is a big help.
5. Resources to reprogram your brain
My stress was driven by my beliefs and how they impacted my behaviors and the way I treated myself and others. When I learned to change those beliefs, it changed everything.
Audiobooks
Videos
Books + DIY Therapy
If you have questions about anything in this story, your own personal experiences to share, or resources you want to tell me about that have been helpful, please put them in the comments or email directly at jennifer.ann.aue at gmail dot com. ❤
