Staring into the Void
Time. Expansive, relative, the healer of all wounds. For people experiencing infertility and fertility treatment, it feels endless. This is the part that has felt so painful, so insurmountable to me. There is no end in sight, yet. And still we journey on.
At each stage of the process, it feels for a fleeting moment like you’ve beaten Time, you’ve taken the lead in the never ending game of cat and mouse. We’re booked in for testing — this will get us to the finish line; we’re referred for treatment — this will get us to the finish line; we’re starting our treatment — this will get us to the finish line. But at each stage, Time cruises laughingly by, victorious, ‘not yet for you’ he mocks. And still we journey on.
This is still a battle I am fighting every day. We are yet to reach the end and the uncertainty and longevity of the fight bring me close to breaking point often. And still Time marches on. With each occasion that passes I’m reminded of it, and the end point feels just as distant as it has done for the last four years. And still we journey on.
