Beautification of Loneliness
The Whitewashing of a Dark Emotion in the World of Content
A heavily bearded (white or fair) man drinks whiskey in a dimly lit apartment — all alone. When he gets up, his staggering gait gives away (if his beard did not) that it’s not his first drink of the night. Next, he would either pick up a fight on the streets, or he would throw caution to the winds and have the wildest of nights out (dancing and debauchery mostly) to numb out his sorrows which most certainly involves a woman who is his love interest.
A sobbing, melancholy (white or fair) woman sits in her comfortable, aesthetically messy bedroom full of pictures, posters, potted plants and pretty little trinkets, wearing sweatpants, probably glasses, holding a tub of ice cream, or a bottle of wine, or both, watching sad movies — all alone. Next, she would probably call one of her girlfriends to cry her heart out or look at old photographs to relive her happier memories with a man, her love interest, only becoming sadder in the process.
Over the next few days, both these individuals might be shown to engage in treading unusual paths like going off on a solo trip to unnamed, exotic and picturesque locations or taking up a new hobby such as pottery classes, baking or photography.
This imagery in its various versions is common to several movies, TV shows and online series. In all likelihood, this schema of loneliness constructed by popular culture largely revolves around the idea that loneliness is a packaged product of separation and animosity between attractive and pleasing men and women with the end outcome of ‘finding themselves’ or ‘moving on’.
Even in a vulnerable, imperfect state, they manage to look splendid, speak full coherent sentences and go to work the next day, probably with an aesthetically sound hangover that does not debilitate them nearly enough for the amount they are seen drinking. They even retain their jobs despite their prolonged absence for the self-finding mission. And if not, largely, they quit instead of being sacked.
Somehow, this loneliness sells. By cleansing out the uncomfortable and disconcerting manifestations of it, loneliness becomes a packaged good for instant consumption. Of course it sells! To play a lonesome Ted Mosby hopeful of finding his one and only, his soul mate, in a nine season long quest, actor Josh Radner earned at least 5 million USD per season.
Cut to India, loneliness looks good when you have money and power. It looks good when you look like Ranbir Kapoor in an Imtiaz Ali movie who can afford to make that solo trip to Corsica, France to find both, himself and his soul mate. It’s lovely to see him act up at work, get sacked and start living a vagabond life on the streets — on a giant screen while gorging on soda and popcorn. It gets approval from the said soul mate and applause from the audience watching. Most importantly, it’s easy to reveal your loneliness (and revel in it), to act out, to disregard every single rule of public life and follow your heart, when you are a privileged caste Hindu male having a family owned mansion in the hills.
Cleansed and cinematographic loneliness, packaged and sold in the name of popular culture across different countries of the world is tone deaf in terms of class, caste, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, region and sexuality. Most dominantly, it is so disturbingly class-blind that it begins to romanticise and glorify a life of poverty.
Has anyone ever heard a really poor person say, ‘Money is not everything in life’ or ‘I don’t need this job’ or ‘I want to quit my job and follow my passion’? I highly doubt it.
Popular culture, in its portrayal of this aesthetically pleasing loneliness and dominant ways of coping up with it, ends up leaving out large groups of people who simply cannot relate to this kind of content. Worse yet, content created for these alienated groups ends up getting labelled as alternative/unconventional cinema. To portray a satirical or applause generating picture for these groups would require the makers to actually put in hard work, to read up and research in-depth about these people who they themselves don’t relate to. If at all these anti-hero movies or series come into the mainstream, the poverty of imagination ensures that they are agenda driven, on-your-face, sledgehammered parodies in the name of representation. Often cleansed and whitewashed to be palatable (for instance caste atrocities and discrimination only happen in villages like they showed in the movie Article 15), such films create a superficial and politically correct awareness narrative, at best.
Loneliness of the dark skin, the unacceptable body type; loneliness of language, age, poverty or disability; loneliness of not being hetero normative, loneliness of abuse, violence and stigma— the loneliness of being out of everyone’s league — it’s loneliness that is too sad to even think about let alone watch.
If this loneliness somehow does find representation in popular mainstream media instead of documentaries and art films at all, it would be like a show, where four outcast male nerds — two white, one Jew and a rich Indian — bullied by the world for being too talented in the sciences, would be shown in an unmindful comedy. They would be shown doing things not considered ‘normal’ but in a non-threatening, disengaged way that does nothing to really challenge the dominant ideas of “normalcy” in society. All in all, it only ends up as a heavily patronised representation of the popular definition of the nerd.
The loneliness that comes from being a sidekick in one’s own movie is something hardly addressed in mainstream popular culture. The consequences of loneliness are severe in real life. Most lonely people do not act up. Nor do they make sudden moves. For there are bills to pay, there are people to look after, there are unspoken rules to be complied to just for maintaining whatever little peace (and safety) they have. It often stems from not having a job, a home or money, not having freedom or choices due to one’s identity, not having equal respect or voice in the society, not having a mental support system — loneliness, in real life, comes from not having. And yet every single day, it gets appropriated by those who actually do have everything.
And thus, Kabir Singh passes off as brilliant acting, grosses millions in money and applause. Thappad gets branded as a feminist retaliation to Kabir Singh. It does not sell. Dil Bechara gets an audience response it would never have received if the lead actor was alive and well (with no sensational news surrounding his untimely death).
Movies are for entertainment. Often, mindless entertainment. A popular Indian actor while promoting a big budget star studded film once said, “Have fun and leave your brains at home” Indeed, the creators know what would make money. So, the spectacle continues day after day to feed the insatiable voyeuristic pleasures of an audience that consumes such content without any thought to it. Blind consumption wins.
