My Enduring Grief Has Increased with the Passing of Time.

My heart breaks more every day.

Marilyn Regan
Unapologetically Real

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Photo by author

Time is supposed to heal, but that’s not always the case. His first anniversary and her birthday are less than a month away, and the dates are only five days apart.

Anything can bring tears to my eyes, and it’s getting worse. Not better.

Cesar died three months after my sister, Miriam, lost her four-year battle with ovarian cancer. She would be 63, the baby of the family. That was a horror story all of its own, times when I turned my face up and asked, “God, if you exist, why are you doing this?”

I see a picture of a cat that looks like him or think I catch a glimpse in my peripheral vision, only to turn my head to emptiness. I know he was there, but I am alone.

My little companion that sat on the arm of the couch, placed his paw lovingly on my hand, and looked up at me, with his kitty-kissing eyes, purring, wanting nothing but to be connected to me.

So present, so loving.

We watched hockey games and when the “Hate-riots” dominated the NFL he kept his eyes glued to the television and ears forward at attention.

I see a brown tabby with big eyes and long whiskers, and I feel myself melt. Like he just died.

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Marilyn Regan
Unapologetically Real

Marilyn is a writer, yogi, and spiritual medium. Her favorite people are animals, especially ones that meow. She loves the ocean and hates one-use plastic.