Member-only story
Hello, I'm an Imposter
Not the one from the game "Among us."
To the person reading this: You're not an imposter; you're doing great. Everything is going to be OK. We all feel like this from time to time.
I usually write about non-technical things, sometimes about my perspective, i.e., what makes a good team leader or why writing is good. This time it's going to be different. It will be a story about me and how I felt in some life episodes.
Let's start with why I'm writing this post. Not going to hide, I knew I had/have this syndrome, but I've only admitted it to a couple of friends and colleagues and never thought I'd share it with a broader audience. I went to a meetup about imposter syndrome; I wanted to see what would happen there and explore. Seeing people sharing their situations and how they cope and deal with them. After the meetup, I realized (exactly what imposter syndrome makes it harder to see) that most people have it and deal with it. I'm not the only one. So this post is my way of expressing myself about this challenging topic.
My story
In school, I was doing good; I'd say even great—one of the top students there. After final exams and getting into a study program in financial and actuarial maths, I understood that I'm not one of those top people I used to be. It's a bit hard when you're used to being at the top, and suddenly you're last. I was the last to get a free spot based on my exam results and grades. Living in a different city, far from home, didn't make it easy to adjust and cope too. You lose yourself having fun and barely get through the first exam sessions. The thing is that my first kick to my butt was when I failed an exam. I felt miserable and a colossal failure. I'd say it was the moment I was down the most. With support from some of my friends, I managed to pull through. Honestly, I wasn't at the bottom of the bunch after that. I learned and tried hard to get through. So I dealt with that imposter by studying more, trying harder, and proving to myself that I could.
The next time I remember imposter syndrome kicked in was, of course, in the first workplace. I was getting my first paid job while studying was super lovely. I was independent and could support myself. The high you get from achieving something. I rode that…
