If your job sucks, make sure you get paid well for it — and other life advice

People are just full of unsolicited advice. That includes me.

There are things that I wish everyone knew; certain codes that everyone followed. Here are some things that I try to follow in my life and always wish others would too:

• Get super drunk at least 3 times in your life. Ensure the total number of drunk nights you cannot remember stays in the single digits
• If you like someone, tell them; even if you know it won’t lead to anything
• Never be completely honest with anyone; not even the person you love
• Learn how to touch type
• Learn how to Google properly
• Do not accept financial aid from your parents once you start earning. A loan from the bank will come with fewer stipulations
• It is okay to pay people with beer
• It is not okay to never pick up the tab at the hotel or bar, no matter how broke you are
• Memorise at least three phone numbers in the event of an emergency
• Be fair when it comes to your relationships. Cheating is never an option
• It is NOT mandatory that you be friends with your ex; it is completely okay if you feel like killing them
• When you have drinking plans, switch off your phone’s data connection. If you can afford to, then switch off the phone itself
• Do not bring past events up during a fight. What matter is what is wrong now, and not what he or she did or said 3 weeks or 3 months ago
• Let friends go if they make you bitter
• Learn to enjoy the drink instead of the buzz
• Listen more than you talk. Never be completely silent. If nothing else, laugh
• Smile; it calms down friends and irritates foes
• You won’t always love your job. Make sure you are compensated for your dissatisfaction
• No one in HR is your friend. Ever
• Learn to ask for a higher salary, for a better appraisal, for a promotion. You will be surprised how many times all you needed to do was ask
• Being blunt will get you faster results. People eventually get over the fact that you were rude to them once
• Be courteous to your colleagues and workers, even if they annoy you
• Never be diplomatic with friends. Pick sides. You will lose a few friends, but grow closer with the rest. This is how you make friends you can call in any kind of emergency
• Allow yourself one vice
• Read more than just the headlines
• Never pour ketchup over french fries if someone is sharing them with you. Not everyone likes ketchup-soaked fries

What about you? What is one thing you wished more people did or knew?