Jan 27, 2022
Want to be listened, rephrase your sentences like this
I was always amused by the negotiation skills of some people. They just know what to say in order to captivate your thoughts and before you know you are already liking the product.
I kept on experimenting with speaking techniques to make my sentences more effective but could not crack the hidden code. Then I randomly read the book “Words That Change Minds” and I found it. We all have been speaking but the way we speak and choose words make all the difference.
I would highly recommend the book to anyone who struggles to select words and phrases for effective speaking. For your reference, I am putting the answer to my own query (how to frame sentences so that they can be listened).
The book talks about two traits of any individual. Either they are “Towards” person or they are “Away” person. A “Towards” person is a motivated proactive individual who is going toward something. Their motivation is in achieving a certain thing, getting a result, arriving at a certain place/ position. An “Away” person is someone who is going away from something, trying to avoid something, someone, a certain situation, and escaping from a certain result. Their motivation comes so that can can avoid something.
To make it more relatable, let me put an example:
Alby is motivated to own her company because she wants to grow an empire. She wants to grow an empire so that she can introduce changes in the system. She wants to introduce changes because she has identified the issues with the system and believes that the system can be improved. Here, Alby is a “towards” person.
Shelly, another individual wants to own an empire. She wants the empire so that she can leave her job and not care about finances for the rest of life. Here Shelly is an “Away” person whose motivation is to not get into financial issues.
Once you have identified if the person is a “towards” person or an “away” person. You can find their priorities in life/ or that event. Your sentences should be framed accordingly.
A “towards” person is motivated by proactive words that indicate that they will be getting, achieving, attaining their priorities. An “away” person is motivated by the words that indicate they will not be getting into a certain situation, they will be saved from a certain situation, etc.
For the above example. If someone has to speak about a research project that Alby and Shelly should take and that promises thought development that will eventually help them scale their business. Let me put down how the sentences should be framed for both individuals.
For Alby: Since you want to grow an empire. You should focus on growing your business and I have come across a research project that you should undertake. It promises to take you, your team, and your business to the next level, it will increase the output which in turn will increase efficiency, growth, and help you scale your business.
For Shelly: Hi Shelly, I Noticed that you want to grow an empire so as not to be financially dependent on anyone. I have come across a research project which helps you to avoid inefficient processes and saves you, your team, and your business of mediocrity. It will save your time and effort and thus help you scale your business as compared to your peers who would still be engaged in old practices.
There are more learnings, but that’s for other time.
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