Unconforming 06 / ♀️ against ♀️ for ♀️ with ♀️
by unconform studio | February 2020 issue | Subscribe here
Issue 06 / women against women for women with women
Dear Friends,
When I tell someone new about my work on women in the workplace, after the initial “oh wow, super cool!” response, I often hear about the “women against women” dynamic. It goes something like this:
I don’t deny it. This dynamic is as old as the rivalry between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law. And, often the stories I collect via a thousand paper cuts (a project about sexism and gender inequity in the workplace) describe it too:
One talked about women’s focused organizations —
“a lot of the same barriers still exist for women even in a women’s focused organization.”
Another used the words “cut-throat” —
“[I think she will] become CEO. I can’t imagine working under her, because she is so cut throat.”
Yet another was disappointed that women don’t speak up for each other —
“[women] who are successful are either blind to it [sexism / sexual harassment] or they haven’t experienced it. They don’t talk about it. That is so damaging.”
However, women who submitted the stories above also said this, telling a fuller story:
“women don’t support women because they don’t want to be perceived as being partial or favoring.”
“I wish I could do more, I want to speak up, but I am also told that I am the problem for reacting this way. You become the angry feminist.”
Now, when I get a “women don’t support women” response, I focus less on the women part, and more on the system these women have to operate in. I ask instead:
How might organizations create a culture in which women want to support each other without feeling scrutinized? Here are a few ideas, coming straight from women:
💰 Actually invest in female Employee Resource Groups (with $$) —
Make time for women ERGs during the workday rather than making them feel like an “extra-curricular” activity. Find budget for it to incentivize your ERG leaders. This is also a great way to show your employees that you’re walking the gender equality talk.
🎤 Be explicit that speaking up for women is encouraged, not judged —
“At [my company], my team of mostly women would make a conscious effort to fully have each other’s back so you wouldn’t be shot down right away — it was so great when this became really explicit.”
⚢ Create women-only teams and reporting structures —
“One of the things that attracted me to [my company] was the abundance of women in leadership and peer roles.”
“During one of my internships, all of my bosses were female. There was a marked difference in my comfort with asking questions, my (perceived?) performance (I had never been evaluated so highly), and ‘culture fit’ with the office.”
Recently at a workshop, when we worked in small groups, I was surprised how vastly different all-female teams felt from the mixed gender ones. On the mixed ones, not only was I cut off & unheard, I even felt physically pushed around. I’m not surprised then, that when talking of the workplace experience, women often request ♀️-only collaboration opportunities.
Are your organizations creating environments for women to support each other? Hit reply to let me know — I’d love to hear from you.
— Mansi
Postscripts
✍🏽 Have a story / thought to share about being a woman in the workplace? Contribute to a thousand paper cuts. Need some inspiration? Take a look below or here.
📤 Share a thousand paper cuts with friends or your preferred channels
🗞️ Read with us:
+ The culture of misogyny inside Victoria’s Secret
+ Misogyny at the gym
+ When promotion leads to divorce
⏩ Forward this issue onto a friend or two — we’d be so grateful!
About Unconform Studio / Design x Strategy x Women
Unconform Studio is a design strategy firm focused on systems level change for women. We use a design research + behavioral design methodology to help organizations improve gender equity in their workspaces. Learn more. Was this email forwarded to you? Subscribe now to get Unconforming in your inbox every month. Take a look at our past issues here.
**All quotes sourced from a thousand paper cuts
