Aversion to the word rape, rather than the act — the power of language in enabling sexual harassment

Rape or force? Or coercion? Or a joke? What the use of the word tells us about the way we view and allow for sexual harassment.

Recent Indian news tells the (heartbreaking) story of a Dalit girl who was gang-raped and beaten, leading to her death. In her video statement, which she recorded in her last few minutes, she repeatedly accuses her rapists of zabardasti — the Urdu word for “force” or “coercion,” instead of accusing them of rape.

In her book Girls & Sex, author Peggy Orenstein speaks of “a 2014 study in America, in which nearly a third of college men agreed they would rape a woman if they could get away with it — though that percentage dropped to 13.6% when the word rape (as opposed to “force a woman to have sexual intercourse”) was actually used in the question.” A third — can you believe it?!

The use of the word rape also has a strange flip side. Orenstein calls it “How misogyny becomes hilarious.” When called out on their aggressive language towards sex & women, men use humour as a defence mechanism. Providing an example of this, she speaks of a party video in which a boy, laughing at an unconscious girl, jokes “she is so raped.” When someone off-camera suggests that rape isn’t funny, he retorts “it isn’t funny — it’s hilarious!”

On the one hand we (mostly men) might dismiss rape as funny & hilarious. And on the other, we seem to have more aversion to the word rape rather than the act. With numbers as high as 81% of women having experienced some form of sexual harassment, I can’t help but wonder: are we, in some form, enabling sexually abusive behaviour by calling it funny, or using euphemisms to avoid the words that actually say the truth? And, how might using the right terminology change the way sexual harassment exists today?

This issue is part II of a short series exploring the power of language in designing for women. Read part I here.

This post is an excerpt from Unconforming: a newsletter about Design for Women. Unconforming goes out every two weeks and also shares learnings from experts, job and other opportunities, examples and articles — all to make an impact in the women’s space. Sign up here to get it in your inbox!