About this writing journey
On a quest to become more authentic and whole
When I recently came across the course ‘A Year of Writing to Uncover the Authentic Self’ by Rachel Astor, something in me screamed that I should enroll and embark on this journey. I didn’t think about it for long, but instead, I let my intuition guide me. So here I am, ready to discover and unravel the parts of myself that I have repressed, forgotten, or not been able to develop yet.
The truth is that I have been struggling with authenticity for some time.
At some point, I noticed how I was constantly adjusting myself depended on the presence of others and depending on what I believed was expected of me.
To a degree, it is natural to behave differently when we are alone or with others. I have a feeling that many people struggle to some extend with being fully themselves in front of strangers or even with friends. Allowing others to really see us can be scary. We all carry that fear of rejection. It can make us feel stressed, tense, or exhausted.
We have been trained to have a public and a private face, at least I have. But it rarely made me feel good. I believe many people start to notice that it is not healthy for us anymore to make ourselves small or pretend to be someone we are not. It still brings up anxiety and shame for me to completely allow and embrace who I am, or find out who I really am or could be. But I am tired of hiding.
And that is why I am going on this journey. Through 52 lessons and corresponding writing prompts in Astor’s course, I will explore my authentic self. I will hopefully also learn and practice how to be more authentic and live a more whole life. And in this publication I will write about it.
It’s time to explore what it means to live authentically.
How does authenticity look like? What does authenticity mean to me? I want to learn to recognize what’s authentic and what’s not. I want to face the demons and negative voices from the past. I want to notice when I am really me and when I am trying to please someone else in order to meet a need. It’s not going to be easy to change a program that has been running for 30 years.
Daring to become whole.
No matter the challenge, I am ready to face the winds. I want to love and accept the real and all of me and feel proud of it (just when I am writing this I can feel the inner voices trying to get their words in, shhh). I believe when we are fully ourselves, it also becomes easier to navigate the world. We are more grounded. We feel stronger. We can be more compassionate and kind because we don’t need to prove anything to anyone. We can give the love we would want to receive. And we can do what we came here for, to live a full and truthful life.
