5 Thought Patterns That Are Enough to Sabotage Your 20s
Are you making these mistakes too?
Life in the 20s brings us the savour of living. You move from studies to career, experiments to experiences, perhaps relationships to marriage, and more. In a nutshell, a complete renovation of your mind, body, perception, perspective, status, etc.
We experience a complete change in environment, mindset, perception, and company. But we seem to live the same life we used to live before our 20s with the selfsame thought patterns. That perhaps holds a massive possibility of affecting our lives in the 20s.
For the past few years, overthinking has always been a major cause of self-destruction which breed thought patterns. Today, I will discuss with you five thought patterns I’ve discerned while introspection that can lead anyone’s 20s life to ruination.
1. I Mustn't Miss…
Which I call “the Fear of Missing Out” on things that seem fun doing but is actually not.
I am about to approach my 20th birthday very soon. There is something I encountered or observed that is enough to sabotage my 20s life. And that is the fear of missing out on every little pleasure that life puts forth in the 20s that is too woe to miss.
For instance,
- Attending every party you’re invited to so that you don’t miss out on clicking pictures for your Instagram profile and have fun with a few random and cool personalities.
- Going on small trips and spending impulsively, so that you can experience the most of life with the person you want to spend the most time with.
However, there are endless examples I can show you that you experience in or before your 20s that need not be extremely necessary the way we’ve been reckoning it.
Life doesn’t mean you should be experiencing everything that’s a hand away from you.
Experiences are precious for life, but it doesn’t need to be extensive. You cannot literally live every experience that knocks your way. The best way to break these thought patterns is by actually missing out on the stuff that doesn’t add value to your life.
2. Something Is Better Than Nothing
- A bad company is better than loneliness.
- An unsound relationship is better than no relationship.
- A sick career option is better than unemployment.
Isn’t that the sole truth statement of life that has been preferred to death?
We have acquired a mindset that counts something is better than nothing. We have procured this blind statement that says grab everything that comes your way, else you lose it forever.
Because something is always better than nothing.
However, without a doubt, cheap things come easily and with less effort, but we believe in ourselves too unfortunate for it to lose.
Sandeep Maheshwari says, “People don’t lag in life because they think big and cannot achieve it. They lag because they think small, achieve it easily, and spend their entire life securing it.”
It simply says something is not always better than nothing. A bad company is not better than loneliness, and unsound relationship is not better than no relationship, and a sick career option is not better than unemployment.
Learn to accept the void in your life to fill every jar with required things, not with trash. Learn to empty the vessel if you think it is getting out of proportion. And learn to clean it to move on in life for better things.
3. What If’s…
- What if something terrible happens today cause I didn’t take my lucky charm!
- What if the love of my life ditches me away!
- What if I fail in my examination; what will my friends, relatives, society think of me!
‘What if’ is a significant question that hits before almost every event that you perhaps are or aren’t aware of happening.
We all fear bad experiences, don’t we? But are bad experiences unavoidable? Can we solve or get up to accurate intuition with what-if questions?
Can you estimate how many times you might have stepped back from doing something you always wanted to do, but this ‘what-if’ prevented you? Can you count how many times negative thoughts have smacked you with ‘what-if’ and perhaps filled garbage in your mind?
Sure thinking or planning gives you possibilities of events, but only if something is likely to happen or worth notion on.
For instance, what if the train doesn’t arrive on time, should you prepare for another alternative? Isn’t this idea worth thinking about that saves you from last-minute complications?
4. I Should. You Should. We Should.
We have heard phrases that contain ‘should’ in them. But do you know how sabotaging these ‘should’ statements are?
There has always been a ‘should’ with you, and wherever and whatever you’re with today is somehow a result of the ‘shoulds’ you pick.
New Year is just a few weeks away from us, so is the craze of making resolutions, joining a few activities, and buying planners and sticky notes. Because why not? You should start your life with new things on a new year day, as told by millions of influencers.
You should be joining gyms and following diets in order to be fit. You should have apps and things like planners and sticky notes to manage your time.
There has always been a ‘should’ within every intention delivered.
Mostly, you do anything because you think you should do it. You might have attempted unimaginable tasks based on this should statement and perhaps ignored what you truly wanted.
There’s a big difference between following your dream with should and want. You chase something not because you should chase it but because you want to.
Spit out ‘should’ from ‘want’ commitments, and you will find yourself doing meaningful things that will add value to your life.
5. What Will People Think…?
This one will always be with you until your last breath. What will people think………?
It is very common that we want to be liked and appreciated by every being.
I used to sneak away from public speaking. Perhaps often, I bunked classes when such an instant came when I had to present something in front of everyone.
Why? Because I didn’t want to be judged by anyone for my silly mistakes. I used to run away from people, not to give them a chance to judge or criticize me. And honestly, it never helped.
There are a few things that can never be in your sphere of control, and that is what others think of you. The way you have judgements and opinions about others, everyone else does.
“Often those that criticise others reveal what he himself lacks.” ― Shannon L. Alder.
The way you don’t think much about what is happening to your mutual friends or what is going on in your neighbourhood because you don’t have much time for such stupidity and think it is not a matter of notion, everyone else does.
What people think about you is a self-sabotaging thought that wrecks you for what you did and prevents you from doing something you always wanted.
Final Thought
The thinking patterns you’ve developed for ages aren’t going to fade away in just a matter of seconds. Especially when something like what will people think is always on the mountaintop.
The above thought patterns are big rocks to bang-up. However, they were a meal to my sabotaging hunger has helped me recognise my weakest juncture. It has helped me prevent these thoughts from further processing and sabotaging my 20s or 30s life.
Remember these thought patterns and never let them squish your life —
- I Mustn’t Miss…
2. Something Is Better Than Nothing
3. What If’s…
4. I Should. You Should. We Should.
5. What Will People Think…?
“Without changing our pattern of thought, we will not be able to solve the problems we created with our current patterns of thought.” — Albert Einstein.
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