When It Is Okay Not to Be Okay
The negative side of positive thinking that’s sabotaging you.
A few days back, my laptop had some technical glitch that I was unable to fix. The worst part in it was, I was on a 30-day writing challenge, and if I couldn’t fix my laptop, it was likely impossible for me to win that challenge.
When this happened, I was thinking positive as not to give up on my challenge. Because I had always been taught to think positive — no matter what or how terrible the situation is.
I was told to use positive affirmations in terrible circumstances and look on the brighter and gloomier side of the events.
Yes, we have always been told to think positive no matter what. But what if only thinking positive isn’t solving your problems? What if that positive thinking is sabotaging you or promoting toxic positive vibes and escapism?
Too Much Positive Thinking Promote Escapism
I was sure enough if I simply had acknowledged positive affirmations, things wouldn’t have worked — my laptop wouldn’t have repaired on itself.
I was so much fascinated by positive thinking. I thought that it would turn my life from worst to better. That merely applying a few mornings and nights positive affirmations will make my life easier to live; That it will prevent me from sufferings.
But the reality is affirmations don’t change our lives, the action taken by us after those affirmations do.
When positivity is pushed to an extreme, it is toxic, and psychology calls it toxic positivity that functions as an avoidance mechanism.
If you’re simply thinking positive thoughts without acknowledging your condition or problems, it’s just a denial of accepting the truth. Thinking positive thoughts to an extreme is a form of avoidance, not a valid solution to life’s problem.
When we force ourselves to stay positive all the time, we deny the existence of our life’s problems.
The best way by which you can stop toxic positivity dominate you is through not escaping your problems with positive thoughts all the time. Acknowledge it, reflect upon it, and take action to solve it.
Unrealistic Expectations In Positive Thinking
Positive thinking sabotages us when it is associated with unrealistic expectations.
Having unrealistic hopes is self-destructive, as you put yourself into some imaginary positive actions and outcomes.
For instance, you think of positive vibes throughout the day. You think you will experience miraculous things because you read five positive affirmations early in the morning, which is unrealistic that are likely to be disappointing when you fail to achieve them.
“The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” — Mark Manson.
Setting unrealistic expectations such as everything is going to be fine someday, or everything that happens for a good reason is a denial of taking further steps to make things better.
You must stop lying to yourself. Positive thinking is good for your health to some extent. However, it doesn’t win all the time.
And it’s okay not to be okay every time.
Not every broken thing is going to fix on positive thinking, but by the actions, you take after that.
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