Finding my voice through pain and poetry
By Liz D.
Sitting on my bed with my leg propped up, in an empty and quiet room, my thoughts consume my mind and the pain still lingers within my body and soul. With a fractured foot and nowhere to go, I sit in place for hours on end, doing my best to heal my injury. I pull out my phone and open my notes app to begin writing these intense feelings that are coming to the surface, as it’s all that I can control.
Feeling overwhelmed, as each emotion bottles up from within. Feeling the pain of my injured foot, as I do my best to deal with my discomfort. Feeling lost, as I don’t know how much longer I’ll be stuck in this circumstance. Feeling sad, as I find myself all alone in my room. Feeling the desire to be with him, as his presence is all that I can feel around me. Feeling the love I have, bringing pure happiness to my soul. A feeling of hope and positivity, as I find the strength within myself to get through this challenging time in my life.
Typing away, word by word, my emotions come pouring out onto the screen. Within minutes, poetic beauty is created as I discover the hidden talent within myself. It’s at this moment where everything changes and propels me into the light from the darkest black hole. Feeling trapped as I was set free through these words that express everything and more. It’s his light that shines the brightest, giving me hope and unconditional love.
It was the beginning of the new year, January 2015. My day was going well, as the sun was shining and the atmosphere was vibrant. I met up with my friend Marta for lunch, before I had work later that day. We ordered our drinks and food while catching up with one another. Our lunch together couldn’t have been more fun. After a few hours together, it was time for me to head to work.
We gathered our things and headed out the door. Walking toward our cars, I stepped off the pavement into the parking lot. Within seconds, I’m on the ground, as I unknowingly took a misstep. Landing awkwardly on my right foot, I slowly get up, as Marta asks if I’m ok. I tell Marta, “yes, I’m ok,” doing my best to walk off my minor pain. I head to work not knowing the amount of pain I would be in as my shift went on.
By the end of the night, my foot is like a balloon, swollen and purple, as I can barely walk to my car. Pushing through the pain, I safely manage my way home, as I slowly walk into my room. The next morning, I go to urgent care to get my injury checked out. The doctor examines my foot and sends me for x-rays. Once the results are in, the doctor reveals that I have fractured my foot. He then puts me in a cast and gives me crutches to walk with.
In some slight twist of events, I am now off of work for the next few months. Forced back into my adopted mom’s house, I hesitantly make this my recovery place. Unfortunately, I couldn’t stay with my friend Sheree, from whom I was renting a room, because she had her young daughter Destiny, along with work and her own personal things to take care of. I didn’t want to be a burden to her, so I sucked up my pride and stayed at my adopted mom’s house for a bit. At least here I had Imelda to help me with anything I needed. Imelda is my adopted mom’s housekeeper and she took care of me and my siblings growing up. I was comfortable with Imelda and she was like a second mother to me. My adopted mom helped me a bit when she could.
Having an injury is no fun and drives me a bit crazy having to rest up my foot and not be able to move around much. I found entertainment by watching my favorite TV shows and movies, which helped distract my mind from my uncomfortable circumstances and pain. One day, during my long recovery period, I was just sitting alone with my thoughts, as I let my mind flow free. Bored and feeling a bit alone, he, the one who has my heart, pops into my head.
His smile was bright, as I imagined us conversing in my head. He was polite and gentle, as our conversation flowed passionately. His presence brought a piece of calmness to my soul, as I escaped the reality of my current situation. I began to write down everything I’d say to him, as the words just rushed out of my heart and onto the page. Within minutes I had written my first poem. After reading the poem to myself, I decided to be brave and post these poetic words onto my social media. Receiving lots of likes for my poem, I felt a sense of accomplishment, as I found a hidden talent within myself.
Growing up, I had always kept to myself, as I was a shy kid. I had lots of sisters to play with, but would always retreat to have my me-time. I was always doing something creative, as I enjoyed coloring, drawing, and writing at an early age. But, having low self-esteem and confidence, I always kept my interests to myself. My adopted mom wasn’t too supportive of me growing up, which made me feel discouraged to pursue anything that’d make me successful. I felt like a failure at times and would give up easily, whenever I came across difficulties in school.
I felt lost and confused, until the day I found him within my poetry. It was like a light bulb went on inside my head. I was suddenly awakened to the wonderful possibilities ahead. And at that moment, I saw a ray of light at the end of this dark tunnel. I began writing more poems, which became like my own personal journal. And, before I knew it I was all healed up and back to work.
During my time off from work, I was able to reflect on where my life was and where I wanted it to go. After showing my poems to my friends and family, I looked into going back to school and pursuing a career that involved writing and storytelling. With the encouragement of my friend Sheree, with whom I was living, I enrolled back into Pierce College in the Spring of 2016. I enrolled in journalism classes and began my journalism career journey.
I also took all my poems and self-published my first poetry book, called “A Fragile Heart.” This unfortunate event in my life, helped me discover my true passion and purpose in life. Which gave me more confidence and the tools to help me reach my goals. Hurting my foot was unexpected, but finding my poetry through it all was rewarding and has brought me to where I am today. I am stronger, wiser, more confident, and motivated to better myself and my life. And, yes, I still have my light, blazing with fire within my heart and soul.
Writing is my outlet, as I freely express myself. Writing gets me out of my shell and leaps me into the world around me. Writing is the pen to my paper. Writing is my creative inspiration. Writing is my personality and perspective, as I give light to my inner world views. Writing is the air I breathe. Writing is my passion and love. Writing is a part of me in every way. Writing is deep within my heart and soul, it’s everything and more.
