A Brave New World: Exploring the Aftermath of Sexual Orientation Disclosure
The previous articles have revealed to you the processes involved in the sexual orientation disclosure of Filipino LGBTQ+ parents guided by the message parameters from the Theory of Coming Out Message Production (COMP) of Li (2018). Now, what happens after the disclosure?
If you are curious about the aftermath of the disclosure, this final article entry will walk you through that juncture to complete your knowledge and understanding of the entire sexual orientation disclosure process. This article specifically describes how sexual orientation disclosure influenced gender identity and expression (GIE) and interpersonal relationships within the immediate family set-up.
A Bold Step Forward of Embracing the ‘Self’
Looking at the effects of sexual orientation disclosure on GIE, LGBTQ+ parents observed changes in themselves and their self-presentation. The LGBTQ+ parents reported good emotional states and improvements in their mindset as changes within themselves. This indicated that they had a stronger sense of well-being and positivity as a result of their disclosure. This finding is consistent with the study framework, which predicted that after disclosure, the anxiety and uncertainty of LGBTQ+ parents would decrease, causing them to experience good emotions.
Additionally, the improvement of their mindset involved reaching a point where they no longer placed importance on others’ opinions of them.
Emetu and Rivera (2018) explained sexual orientation disclosure causes the reduction of shame and boosting of confidence, thus, it is possible for LGBTQ+ individuals to ignore the negative judgments from others about themselves after the disclosure since they chose to be confident in who they are.
Moreover, the self-presentation after the disclosure varied among the LGBTQ+ parents’ cases. The LGBTQ+ parents’ self-expression, particularly in terms of their voice, was mostly reported to have remained unchanged. Bisexual parents continue to talk in the manner in which they identify themselves, while gay and lesbian parents use voice modulation to express their sexual orientation.
On the other hand, LGBTQ+ parents have the tendency to become more expressive in their clothing preferences, indicating a shift in their fashion choices. Furthermore, they can also modify behavior in certain contexts, which could be attributed to societal or personal reasons.
For instance, a bisexual male may choose to lessen his use of gay jargon at home when he is with his child, as he wants to preserve his child’s innocence.
Finding Love and Acceptance at Home
The study also discovered — through the analysis of interpersonal relationships within the immediate family, including the family of origin, children, former partner, and current partner — how these dynamics have changed following the disclosure of LGBTQ+ parents. The results are as follows:
First, the LGBTQ+ parents’ interpersonal relationships with their families of origin remained the same after their disclosure; their families, as well as their bonds and closeness with family members, stayed intact.
LGBTQ+ parents were all accepted by their respective families, although not immediately but gradually; as a result, there was development in their closeness and ties. Conformingly, when LGBTQ+ people receive support from their family following their disclosure, it has a favorable effect on their relationship satisfaction, leading to enhanced levels of intimacy and closeness (Grafsky et al., 2018; Needham & Austin, 2010, as cited by Ryan et al., 2010).
Secondly, LGBTQ+ parents were able to maintain communication with their child or children.
While LGBTQ+ parents believe that their children were interested in their sexual orientation, the children were not yet ready to openly address it. Meanwhile, those who had adult children indicated that their connections improved after the disclosure. The increased knowledge of their sexual orientation resulted in a deeper understanding and guidance on how to relate with their children. Furthermore, some of their children were also members of the LGBTQ+ community, which resulted in a closer bond as their children could relate to their experiences and stories as they grew more confident in expressing themselves (Ryan et al., 2010).
Following that, some LGBTQ+ parents maintain contact with their former opposite-sex partners for the sake of their children, including co-parenting and financial support.
According to the study of Daly et al. (2015), the main issue expressed by the offspring of separated parents where one disclosed their sexual orientation was their adjustment to the separation rather than their parent being LGB, which involved dealing with new parental partners and family units as well as home environment modifications. Therefore, it is critical for both parents to preserve the parent-child link and the level of support they provide for their children in order to meet their basic needs, including financial demands.
Lastly, despite their disclosure, some LGBTQ+ parents were embraced and welcomed by their current opposite-sex partners.
This is especially true for some bisexual people who recognized their attraction to both sexes but chose to settle down and start a family with their opposite sex. There appears to be a continual disclosure in this case to ensure the commitment they have to their partner. Fuller and Hovland (2022) contended that, while there appeared to be more challenges with bisexual disclosure, the outcome can be fulfilling. Specifically, bisexual people’s disclosure to their partner is associated with some beneficial effects, such as feeling loved, being able to talk about their experiences, and having their partner express pride and support for them.
These findings complete the process of the sexual orientation disclosure of LGBTQ+ parents, which is not often studied as previous literature focused only on a portion of the disclosure process, the impact of disclosure on psychological aspects, and the sexual orientation disclosure of the children to their parents. This undergraduate thesis, in fact, addresses the aforementioned gaps in the study of sexual orientation disclosure. Aside from filling gaps in the literature, the researchers argue for a safer environment for members of the LGBTQ+ community.
The study underlined that sexual orientation disclosure is discretionary for an LGBTQ+ individual; however, if deemed necessary, acceptance should always begin at home — where the family serves as the basic unit of society and the primary support system for the decade-long marginalized sector. With this, the researchers firmly stand for an inclusive society in which everyone is heard.
References:
Daly, S. C., MacNeela, P., & Sarma, K. M. (2015). When Parents Separate and One Parent ‘Comes Out’ as Lesbian, Gay or Bisexual: Sons and Daughters Engage with the Tension that Occurs When Their Family Unit Changes. PLOS ONE, 10(12). https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0145491
Emetu, R. E. & Rivera, G. (2018). After Sexual Identity Disclosure: An Ecological Perspective of LGB Young Adults. American Journal of Health Behavior, 42(4), 45–60. https://doi.org/10.5993/AJHB.42.4.5
Fuller, K. A., & Hovland, C. A. (2022). Bipositivity: Bisexual Persons’ Narratives of Acceptance and Support from Significant Others. Journal of Homosexuality, 69(1), 1–13. https://doi.org/10.1080/00918369.2020.1815429
Grafsky, E. L., Hickey, K., Nguyen, H. N., & Wall, J. D. (2018). Youth disclosure of sexual orientation to siblings and extended family. Family Relations, 67(1), 147– 160. https://doi.org/10.1111/fare.12299
Li, Y. (2018). Developing, applying, and extending the theory of coming out message production. University of Georgia. Retrieved July 02, 2023 from https://esploro.libs.uga.edu/esploro/outputs/doctoral/Developing-applying-and-extending-the-theory-of-coming-out-message-production/9949333442502959
Needham, B. L., & Austin, E. L. (2010). Sexual orientation, parental support, and health during the transition to young adulthood. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 39(10), 1189–1198. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10964-010-9533-6
Ryan, C., Russell, S. T., Huebner, D., Diaz, R., & Sanchez, J. (2010). Family Acceptance in Adolescence and the Health of LGBT Young Adults. Journal of Child and Adolescent Psychiatric Nursing, 23(4), 205–213. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1744-6171.2010.00246.x
