Battling Depression — The Earliest Manifestations

This is the story of my brother, Gabriel Baraka, as seen through my eyes. I will spend the next few articles tracing the journey to demise “From Depression to Demise”

Gabriel was normal, like any other normal boy or teenager. He loved eating pilau and playing football. His favorite fruit was mangoes and he planted quite a number in the farm.
He was the first born of a normal ordinary family. His siblings looked up to him, his parents invested in him and he did not disappoint. He excelled in his studies, and added a co-curriculum component to it that made his admirable academic talent even stand out more. He had an eye for art, an ear for music, a hand for agriculture.

It does not happen to people like him, or so I believed about depression so that when the signs crept in, it was the last thing I even suspected……..

Background

When Gabriel was in school, he was very smart, always taking the top positions in class. He was particularly good with mathematics and sciences. At the age of 10, he was taken to boarding school. My parents wanted the best education for us and the village we lived in at the time was not conducive enough. There were raids and ethnic clashes once in a while which disrupted education.

In Utafiti Boarding School, Gabriel was an all round student. He participated in the extra curriculum activities such as music, drama, poetry, agriculture etc. He also continued to shine in his studies. He got good grades and got an admission letter to Makueni Boys High School which was a provincial school at the time.

In high school, he advanced his drawing skills by taking art classes. He wanted to be an architect and was doing a good job towards his dream. He also participated in religious rallies and debate forums. He completed high school with a good grade that secured him a university admission.

Early 2010…

It was after he completed high school when it all started…

Before he received his university admission letter, he spent time in country side taking care of our cattle and doing some farming. He also continued with his creativity, composing songs and writing poems.

During this time, he fell in love with one of our neighbors. She was the Sunday school teacher with the voice of an angel. She had dropped out of school due to financial reasons. My brother would give her books to read in her free time. Once in a while he would visit her home and spend time with her family. It got to the point that he would not spend any time with us. Immediately after his chores he would leave to his girlfriend’s. He cut us off completely and the only time he would talk to us was when he was upset with something we had done or said against him or his girlfriend.

First manifestation…

One afternoon after he had brought the cattle home from the fields, my mum tried to engage in a conversation with him. He got so upset that he jumped over the cattle pen to confront her. She was scared of what he might do but just stood still. He got to where she was but could not construct a full sentence. He was stammering. He was shaking. His face was distorted with rage. As he stood looking at my mum, he was ashamed of what he had done. He could not stand it anymore. He ran off. He did not even pick his shoes. He just ran through the forest as fast as he could and as far as he could get.

“What’s happening to him?” I asked myself.

“Has he been bewitched? Is he possessed?” Were some of the questions running through my mind.

My mum was confused. She knew that he wanted his space but this had gone too far. She asked some friends and relatives to go after him. She also called my dad who was working in Mombasa, roughly 6 hours from home.

After some hours, Gabriel managed to get to the closest market. Everyone looked at him with suspicion. He had no shoes. His hair was unkempt. He looked dirty. Luckily enough, my uncle found him. He requested him to hop on to his bodaboda — motorcycle and took him home. When they got home, my mum tried to get answers from him but he was silent. He was deep into his own thoughts. Nobody understood what was going on.

The next day, my dad went with him to Mombasa. He was still not talking to anyone. He was taken to the doctor and that is when he was diagnosed with depression. We didn’t know anyone who had suffered from that. It looked like witchcraft to us. We were scared.

Follow the next couple of stories to understand Gabriel’s journey with depression