Healing Through the Hindsight Window: The Impact of Compassionate Mentorship
How an email exchange based on a YouTube video changed my life after betrayal.
There are defining moments in life that bring immense joy and devastating heartbreak. We remember the joyous ones — the day we got married, the birth of our children, landing a dream job, or buying a home. But we also face moments of profound sorrow, like childhood trauma, betrayal, and loss, which can leave us feeling like we may never recover from the hole in our hearts.
I vividly recall the day my husband uttered three words that shattered my world: “I’ve met someone.” The ensuing darkness was overwhelming. Like so many others who have been betrayed, I searched everywhere for answers, struggling to make sense of how my world could blow up in an instant and why I was in so much pain. One night, while scrolling through videos to numb the avalanche of emotions I couldn’t control, I stumbled upon the “Hindsight Window” theory. With not many views at the time, I might have easily passed it by. However, YouTube suggested it, and in my exhausted state, I watched.
I was captivated.
It was as if the speaker on the video was speaking directly to me, explaining the concept of the Hindsight Window — the period between a devastating event and the moment you see a gift or opportunity in the event. Eric Edmeades’ words were profound. Eric explained that while some people’s Hindsight Window spans decades, others can work through their emotions and reach the other side more quickly. Even though I was desperate to move beyond my pain, I simply didn’t believe that there was an opportunity in my husband’s betrayal. However, I didn’t want my hindsight window to be decades long. A betrayal of this magnitude was too big to process. At one point in the video, Eric shared that during a devastating event in his life, he repeated, “How might I? How might I find the gift and opportunity in this event?!”
I felt the same way: “How might I find the gift or the opportunity in my husband’s betrayal?” Determined to prove Eric wrong, as I had found the one event that would disprove his theory, I poured my heartache out in an email to him through his help desk.
To my surprise, days later, he responded with a heartfelt response. The simple fact that he took the time out to write a response—not some canned “we will get back to you” or “sorry to hear that” or “good luck with that"—was so impactful. His choice of words, compassion, and empathy gave me hope when I had none. It truly changed the trajectory of my recovery and my life. Inspired, I began to follow him on the various social media sites of the time.
My first course with Eric was WildFit, which transformed my relationship with food and helped me release 40 pounds. Since then, I have been a perpetual student of Eric’s, enjoying his mentorship through his Speaker Nation and Business Freedom communities, and most recently, his yearlong mentorship with his Mastermind MBO program.
As we settled into our last Zoom call with all the students of his MBO program, he mentioned that he was in New York (my city). I seized the moment to offer to meet him wherever he was right then and there. I wanted the opportunity to thank him in person for the difference he had made in my life and how I use all the tools he has taught me to make a difference in the lives of those I interact with.
Driving through the busy streets of Manhattan from Queens, I felt a profound sense of appreciation. Here was a man who had unknowingly played a crucial role in my recovery, now sitting beside me, sharing moments of his life. Listening to a good man, a good son, a good father, and a good friend, along with stories of lessons learned and pivotal moments in his life, I felt I had caught more than a glimpse into a multifaceted man who makes a difference in the lives of hundreds of thousands. As we navigated the sea of red lights, I listened intently, cherishing every story, every lesson, and every laugh. This was indeed one of my green-light moments.
Sitting across from Eric, having a WildFit-approved lunch, I was captivated by his storytelling skills, truly embodying all the skills taught at One Talk Workshop. He effortlessly wove tales, some of which I had heard before and others that were new and intriguing. Each story was filled with wisdom and insight. Hearing how he fell in love and how much he cherishes his beloved, along with her two daughters, swelled my heart, as I love the concept of boundless and blissful love. Since I hear of heartache in my line of work as a Betrayal Recovery Specialist, it was refreshing to listen to a man speak with deep pride and genuine love for his relationship.
Many might have used the opportunity to pick his brain about their own needs, wants, and challenges, wanting something from him. I chose instead to let him completely relax in my company, as my only goal was to express my immense gratitude for the impact he had on my life. I wanted him to know how his words had guided me from the depths of despair to a place of hope and empowerment.
Meeting Eric Edmeades in person is beyond words—four hours of stories, laughter, and a genuine connection that I will never forget. Only at the end of our time together did I ask for something—a photo to capture the moment, although it will live with me forever. Now our photo together is framed next to the framed copy of that email he wrote to me years ago, both proudly displayed in my office for all my clients to see. It serves as a visual reminder that heartfelt words and actions of initial strangers can create profound changes in our lives.
The moral of my story is multifaceted:
- Be open to life-changing words from unexpected sources.
- Recognize mentorship in its various forms.
- Be genuine and authentic.
- Cultivate an abundance of gratitude and love.
- Seize the moment.
- Enjoy effortless conversations.
- Make a difference in someone else’s life.
- Cherish every moment.
- Be responsible for saying thank you to those in our lives who make a difference.
Who will you thank today?
Thank you for joining me on this incredible journey.
That’s all for today. If you’re new here and you’ve come this far, you’ll have to hit the follow button. Trust me, you won’t regret it. Otherwise, you might lose me forever.
Claps go a long way. 25 claps mean nicely done. 50 claps mean the world to me and support my work in helping those betrayed not feel so alone. Thank you!
Of course, drop a comment too.
What’s next:
The Power of Betrayal: Finding My Way to Forgiveness
