I Was Historically Awful At Breakups — Here Are 4Things That Made This One Easier

I used to be the type to internet creep, freak out and call repeatedly, try to run into them — but this time has been different so far — here’s what I changed.

I’ve been in back-to-back, long-term relationships since I was 15. 1.5 years, 2 years, 2.5 years, 4 years, then 4 years again, just recently. I’ve only been truly single for 1 year in the last 20 years. Even then, I was going on dates.

I was the one to break up with the other person each time (that's another story), and yet nearly all of them sent me spiraling. There was only one that didn’t and it was because we clearly were meant to be friends (zero passion), and are still best friends now.

I was scared (terrified) that my most recent boyfriend would be the worst breakup of them all … so I delayed leaving for years.

I had tried to leave him so many times, but couldn't. I felt powerless to him and didn’t know how I could live without him. I couldn't imagine myself functioning without him. I was what we call, incredibly codependent.

He was also a professional at saying all the right things to get me back. It was the classic abuse cycle.

It started as a total honeymoon phase … then, he degraded me a little … then he was gradually more and more horrible to me, calling me names, ignoring…