How I overcame bad body image
I remember the negative thoughts about my body began at a young age, it began in my own home, my parents who now I know always had good intentions and wanted me to be healthy, but I don’t think them telling me I was getting fat or that I was looking bigger was something a 9-year-old needed to hear. As small as those comments were, they caused me to view my body in a bad as something gross and not normal.
I was a pretty heavy child growing up and didn’t take too much notice until I got to seventh and eighth grade when kids began to bully me and make comments about the way I looked. This caused me to look at my body in a way of disgust and I began to binge because of the anger and sadness. Eventually my binging turned into anorexia. I went into freshmen year of high school going from 140 pounds to 95 pounds and many of the students who knew me from eighth grade congratulated me on my weight loss and told me I looked really good. These things all made me feel really good about myself which encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing to keep the weight down.
Eventually my family started to catch on, they didn’t know what exactly it was that I was doing or what was happening to me, but they knew something was wrong. I began to get help, and I was able to get myself to a healthy weigh, I was able to get back to a healthy mindset until after high school, I gained over 45 pounds within two years. I was doing everything I could to lose the weight, working out, calorie counting, dieting, reading and educating myself on health and wellness, but nothing was helping. After three doctor visits I had some examines taken and was told I had PCOS also known as polycystic ovary syndrome and hypothyroidism. These two things were contributing to my weight gain, and although it helped me target the issue and work to better my health I also realized that body image will always be a struggle for me and my eating disorder will always be an internal battle I will have to fight. I had to learn different techniques that would help me see myself as the beautiful human God created me. Bellow I provide some techniques I do to help me every day, especially on those days I struggle the most to see my true self.
1. Show yourself off!
I used to do whatever possible to hide my skin by wearing oversized shirts, sweaters, and sweatpants. What I had to do was commit to not wearing anything oversized 6 days out of the week. I had to let go of the expectation that I would go back to my size zero or size two and deal with the truth. I bought clothes that actually fit me and that I felt comfortable in. It helped picking my outfit in the morning much easier.
2. Stop comparing!
Comparing yourself to someone that does not have the same body or health issues as you are not going to help you feel better about yourself. Comparing yourself to someone is not going to allow you to fully embrace who you are.
3. Throw out the scale!
I used to weigh myself every single morning and when the scale would be higher than the previous day I would burst into tears. It is time to focus on your health rather than what the scale says. Throw it out if you have to and if that is what is going to make you stop weighing yourself.
4. Enjoy food and stop apologizing for it!
Who cares if you did a workout today so that means you can treat yourself? Treat yourself even on the days you don’t workout! Food is meant to be enjoyed, food is not the enemy, eat and do not apologize or feel guilty for eating.
