On Praise, or why I pick up my socks in hotel rooms.

It’s review season at Buffer. Every few months, we use Culture Amp for a “180 degree” review, which is a self-reflection and review by one’s manager. Managers are expected to list both strengths and areas for growth, of course, and I love that there are more spaces for strengths and celebration than feedback in the tool we’ve chosen. Both categories are important for a review, of course, and I think it’s wise that there’s a heavier focus on strengths.

As I’ve prepared to write my reviews of my team this month, I got to thinking about praise.

Not long ago, I was staying in a hotel in Miami during a Buffer Product Team on-site. (We are fully remote, so instead of going “off-site,” we do the opposite and go ON-site. Cute, right?)

One morning, I hurried back to my room after breakfast, and found the cleaning crew there. As I dashed in to grab a few things for the day, one of the staff members looked delightedly at me and beamed,

“Thank you for keeping your room so tidy!”

Now, let me be the first to admit I was not keeping my room particularly tidy. Any past roommate of mine might raise an eyebrow at that. But, it was fine. When I protested her compliment, she waved me off and insisted that I had done a great job, and that she appreciated me.

I think I simply floated out of the room!

For the remainder of my stay, I remembered her compliment. I found myself rising to the challenge of her expectations. I made a noticeable effort to deserve the praise. I suddenly found motivation to pick up my socks. In just a few kind sentences, she had incentivized me to try harder, and I found even more joy in the results.

Now, obviously, there is a pretty clear connection here to people-management. People flourish in response to recognition. I know it. You know it. However, it can be very hard to put into practice. As humans, we adapt to our surroundings, and very quickly take our current state for granted. This is a useful adaptation for a species, but not great for our relationships with those around us. Praise and gratitude are one of the first things to go in a busy schedule. (Or is it just me?)

Buffer uses occasional anonymous surveys to check in on teammates’ happiness and drive. One of the survey questions we’ve tried is, “have you received praise or recognition for your work in the last 7 days?”

Gulp.

Have I praised every single member of my team in the last 7 days? If not, why not? I know from experience, both from hotel room cleaning staff and also from pretty much every other experience in my life, that people need to hear words of affirmation and kindness in order to live. Certainly, at least, to work.

So, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go and tell some people how awesome they are.

Is there anyone who needs to hear from you?