Member-only story
“Fairytale Love”
The Reality of Things
In “A World That Makes Sense”, I spoke of how who I am today was a focus since childhood. It was already who I was, but also based on my understanding of how people typically respond to Love, care, and security. My values, and personality were only strengthened as I had grown into a man.
I was never a fan of wasting time. I wanted to run into the woman that was meant for me as soon as possible — my “soulmate”. I had always given my all in relationships with the intention of lasting forever, endlessly pouring into her once I found my “fairytale Love”.
In my experience with Love, I haven’t had the greatest luck. In trying to provide another with a space to feel safe, supported, and Loved unconditionally, I’d created chaos for myself, when it was all said and done.
I’ve run into those that claimed to wonder why I’d been done wrong in my past, and promised that they’d never do me the same - then proceed to do me worse than the one that came before. Leaving me with feelings of uncertainty from consistent games, as if I meant nothing. Those that claimed to be my teammate, and abandoned me once the work was complete.
I’d been left to clean up the mess that I made from my excessive pouring, while holding my empty cup as I received the opposite of the compassion, understanding, and consideration that I had given. Frustration from false promises. Ignoring the signs, and warnings that I was making the wrong decisions because I chose to trust.
I’d never had a guard up until now. Because in life, I’ve learned that people don’t always respond to Love, care, and security by providing the same. Some just come to soak it up until they get their fill, and go.
That “fairytale love” doesn’t exist.
