How being a CMO messes up with my ebullient social existence on the internet

As promised, there will be a part two to my last article but before that there is a lot that needs to be said and done (literally). The last few years have been spent getting on various social media apps and using multiple content marketing tools for brands and companies. This in turn has widened my use of excel sheets, knowledge base platforms, iphone notes and unlimited number of moleskine and muji diaries. While some of this appears ‘oh so wonderful’ on Netflix shows like Girl Boss, it is really amusing deep inside my brain to make everything co exist.

Here I will list five different things I can do with my social presence BUT

1. To begin with, this very article on Medium can be optimised and edited by my content manager. But then what is the difference if I were to create a SEO strategy even for my medium page that I solely have for the purpose of unwinding. Would I be defeating the very purpose of me writing this article — originality, creativity and free flowing thoughts with zero Fs (excuse my lack of vocab and frequent word fillers) given about using tools like Ahrefs and Google Keyword Planner. If you are a Business Owner or a Marketeer you would agree that SEO is LIFE!!!

2. There is one interview question which I rate as 6 on 10 in terms of simplicity that I have asked people who want to join my team.

List 5 social platforms besides Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Youtube, Linkedin, Google+, Twitter and Snapchat.

I often weed out candidates who can’t think fast enough to answer this question.

There are so many social platforms including the most popular ones where brands or we individuals can decide to have a presence and you can almost create infographics or massive long excel sheets with strategies for each platform.

(Honestly, its very hard to judge someone — as a young recruiter — on whether they have the right skill sets. Hence we put them through various aptitude tests, debate, rounds of interviews etc. so by the time its one on one there is very little left to talk about.)

Anyways, knowing where all I need to be active plays a counter affect on my Unicorn Avatar outside work and I end up barely being there.

3. Getting sick of using tools like Focul Mark and Auto hash along with Buffer, Facebook Success Stories and other blogs shouting about the right number of hashtags, I end up using one corny or funny (customised) hashtag.

Once I did a social experiment for work where I started tagging the right brands, used the correct number of hashtags, shared a lot of user generated content and studied my personal Instagram insights to post at the right time. It obviously shoot up my own Instagram followers. It was exciting but then when I had to help two more brands do the same, I was no longer motivated to wear shoes that were worth tagging to click the Instagram worthy picture.

4. When you are a happy more so a mad lively person (the only thing one can control is their image in their own eyes), you make friends at your work place quickly. They follow you, you follow them, you know the drill. At that time, you don’t predict the future of this fast rolling friendship. These are the people who would be viewing your next Facebook, Snapchat and Insta stories. Its among these people that a secret ‘judging your colleague’ society will co-exist. This is the same society that will constantly remind you of your worst content posting days. Hence you downplay and share the most predictable stories.

Its like you are still using only location tagging on your Instagram stories when they have already introduced polls and GIFs.

5. You become a part of so many groups on Facebook and follow all recommended blogs that when it comes to following Kylie Jenner because of her influential status you think twice before deciding to be yourself.

Example: Its not been more than couple of hours since I shared by first story on Linkedin and see what kind of people are looking at it — secretly judging it since the number of likes are barely visible.

What a curse to care about insights tools.

Thats it folks. Still gathering guts to share the Part 2 of my previous story.

Now please clap once if this wasn’t the worst Social 101 article you read on the internet.