#4 — UCWA Threatens to Strike over the Latest Injustice Perpetrated Against Their Industry
Written by Ed Toolis, union president
I’ll let all you humor fans in on a secret. The saying “laughter is the best medicine” was really just a brilliant PR tactic to promote our industry. Sure, laughter makes you feel better when you’re down, but when people actually take it literally, well, it just doesn’t get any funnier than that!
I mean, how funny would it be if you were feeling deathly ill and the prescription your doctor gave you was for a book written by one of our members? Or if you were having a heart attack, and when the paramedics arrived, they broke into a comedy routine? I mean, those bits would only be funny in the movies, right?
So you can imagine the shock, that hundreds of our members have experienced recently upon finding out that there was only one way to get picked up as a writer for a late-night TV talk show. And that’s if some algorithm thinks that all the jokes they submitted will light up the same parts of the brain, just like it did with test subjects, who cracked up when they watched videos, like the ones on the website The Stupid Things Cats Do, and saw photos, like the ones on Weirdoes at Walmart.
Or how about you’re a stand-up comic, and find out that there’s only one way for your comedy special to get picked up by HBO: And that’s if some algorithm thinks it will bolster the immune system, lower the blood pressure and reduce levels of anxiety and depression in millions of watchers.
Or how about you’re a writer of humor books, like I am, and you get a letter from a major publisher, saying that it’s our algorithm’s considered opinion that your books will not have the same life-changing effects that the humor books we’ve already publish have had on their readers. That the millions of romantic couples, going through a rough patch will not benefit from an increase in affectionate body language, as seen in the millions of before and after pics on Facebook. Nor will the millions of friends and family members, battling it out online over political issues exhibit an increase in understanding, as evidenced by keyword usage in their comments on Facebook and Twitter. Nor will the peace of mind of millions of individuals going through an emotional crisis get the relief they need, as determined by the changes in their Google-search behavior.”
I mean, for centuries, the most brilliant minds on the planet tried everything to decode the DNA of humor. And if they were never able to pull it off, how the hell is it possible for some algorithm to do it, regardless of how many miles of numbers and symbols its mathematical formula has?
So, What Can You, a Humor Fan, Do to Help End This Gross Injustice to Our Industry?
Well, unfortunately, it’s going to continue unless millions of you take to social media to protest it.
And you can begin your effort by going to Facebook, searching for “UCWA,” the Union of Comedy Writers and Actors’ page, liking it and sharing it with all your friends. Then feel free to express your outrage in a post. (Due to space limitations, please keep your rants under 50,000 words.)
And finally, after reading or listening to this bit, please, take some extremely affectionate pics, with the love of your life and then post them to Facebook. Reach out to those you were yelling and screaming at online, just the other day, and cool it when it comes to using “asshole” in emails for a while. You never know what algorithm is watching.
And of course, it goes without saying that all our members thank you in advance for your kind support.
Oh, and BTW: research shows that those who like and share this bit live longer.
Copyright © 2017 by Ed Toolis — All Rights Reserved
Ed Toolis is the author of There’s an App for That Books 1.1, Book 2.0 and Humor, Comedy & Sketch Writing. Available on Amazon.
