HEROES pt. 2. Do, Do, Do — or why making mistakes is better than not taking any action

PROACTIVITY

… or why making mistakes is better than not taking any action

Imagine a young archaeologist in the 1930s who just survives a booby-trapped temple in Peru, is chased by some bad guys and an innate tribe but in the end manages to retrieve a golden idol. After a short visit to his teaching position at a New England college, he travels to Nepal, fights some villains in a tavern, then travels to Cairo to free his kidnapped partner, steals the Ark from the Nazis, destroys their flying wing and boards a tramp steamer to take the ark to London. From there it only takes another 30 mins of screening time and a lot of fighting for the archaeologist to deliver the ark to the government in Washington DC.

This of course is a very brief summary of “Raiders of the lost Ark” and the young archaeologist is Indiana Jones himself, one of the quintessential fictional heroes of our time.

The point is that Indiana Jones is proactive and constantly makes decisions and actions. He constantly does things.

And this is one trait that all heroes have in common: They are proactive and constantly do something. They always take decisions and actions. All the time. They do and do and do.

If you don’t do anything, nothing happens

My grandfather always said, “If you don’t do anything, nothing happens.” Pretty obvious, isn’t it? Definitely, but there is an enormous truth to it.

Imagine a movie with a hero who doesn’t do anything; who can’t take any decisions. That would be basically watching a guy procrastinating on a sofa for two hours. Wouldn’t be the most exciting movie ever.

Imagine some of the archetypical heroes would not have turned into action. Imagine Luke Skywalker had ignored the call to adventure and had stayed on his home planet. Imagine Indiana Jones would have stayed in his classroom instead of chasing the lost ark. Would their lives have been happier? Maybe. But two things are certain: Their life would have been a lot less exciting and they would not have had the chance to grow and change into a bigger self. They would not have become heroes.

Oh, and the Nazis would have found the formula for eternal life and Darth Vader would have taken over the universe. So basically, humankind would have ended in complete misery if Mr Skywalker and Mr. Jones haven’t decided to get into action. Makes sense?

Why we often don`t do

However, a lot of us often don`t do. We often avoid taking decisions and actions. Let’s take a deeper look into the psychology of why that is.

Firstly, an interesting fact with people is that they think not taking an action is safer than getting into action. This is in almost all scenarios wrong.

Think about it. If you take a decision and even it turns out to be a big mistake, you at least learned something and more importantly you have a result you can work with. In comparison if you don´t take any action you will stay in a bleak limbo where nothing happens.

This is the curse of procrastination. Why do people procrastinate?! Firstly, it is a very effective psychological shelter for many of us. It is comfortable just continuing business as usual and not leaving our comfort zone. But that shelter can come at a big price. If we do not get into action, the losses will only accrue and opportunities might fade. Point is, the sooner you act, the smaller your potential losses are and the sooner you have a result you can work from. Even if the result means failure.

Also, we often procrastinate because of the paralysing fear of failure. In this case we should stick to words of the philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Always do what you are afraid to do.” And how do we overcome that fear? Just do it. Literally. Start anything and the fear vanishes eventually. Think about it; the first step is always the most frightening. Once that is done, you can come into this nice momentum and every other step will be less fearful.

The endowment effect

Another reason we avoid action is that we tend to cling to the status quo and resist change. Why? Have you heard of the ‘endowment effect’? This term is coined by behavioural economics and basically means that people value things higher they have than things they don’t have. In other words, we prefer the “what is” to the “what might be”. This bias to the status quo is again a nice little shelter again that leaves us in our fluffy comfort zone. But again, that comes at the price of missed opportunities.

This is why people often stay too long in bad jobs or toxic relationships. Because this is what they are used to and change can be very uncomfortable; but they will miss out on all these wonderful opportunities if only they would leave their status quo. Is there a risk of failure? Absolutely. But the potential upside is so much bigger and if you never try, you failed by default.

Think of Luke Skywalker. He left his home and the comfort of his own four walls and day job to go on this epic adventure. After many near-death-experiences he was rewarded with the glory of the universe. The moral here is: if you want to meet the princes, you have to leave your home planet.

The cost of doing nothing can have severe long-term effects no matter how alluring it might be in the short term.

Think about it…looking back at your life, what do you regret most? I bet everything I have that it is the things you haven’t done rather than the mistakes you made.

Regret from failure fades quickly

Research by psychologists suggests that regret from failure is rather short term that quickly fades. In contrast, we experience way more long-term regret over things we did not do. There is a big lesson for all of us: You have to try, even if you fail. Chances that you will be miserable and regret in the long term will be so much lower.

In fact, heroes experience far more defeat than those who are not successful. A lot of us get knocked down once or twice and give up. But heroes get knocked down over and over and over again, but they keep bouncing back up and keep moving forward.

Remember Rocky? This guy failed in only 2 hours probably more often than most of us during our whole life. He gets knocked down over and over again, he sees his opponent double and pisses blood. But he gets up and moves forward no matter what.

Heroes make mistakes all the time. If they fail, so can we. Heroes often view failure as just a detour, a little delay on their long journey. Albert Einstein said: “I think and think for months, for years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.”

Permission to mess-up

So how can you approach new challenges and take decisions with confidence without this paralysing fear of making mistakes? There are two main lessons to be learned from heroes: a) Give yourself the permission to mess-up and b) give a shit about what others think.

Were heroes ever holding back because they feared what others might think of them? Hell, no. Just think of Rhett Butler’s last words before he rode off into a new adventure: “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

Reflect on your life for a while. Like everyone else there was a time when you were a one-year-old toddler. In those days, you had no fear of failure. At all. If you had been afraid to fail, you’d never have learned to walk! You tried to walk and fell on the ground but you tried again and fell again and you did that hundreds of times … until you finally walked.

So, now what has changed? Why do we fear failing? Why do we consider failure to be negative now? Arguably, we aren’t afraid of failing but instead we are afraid of being judged by other people over our possible failures. Be it societal norms, peer pressure or comparing us to others.

That doesn’t make sense at all if you think about it. Failure is the only reason we are able to walk, talk, swim, or do anything else. Failures made us; not success. Success is the end result, but it is failures that bring us there.

The purpose of challenges and obstacles on our way prepare us with the skillset we need to achieve our goals. Hurdles and defeats are preparation for success.

Listen to Woody Allen: “If you’re not failing every now and again, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything very innovative.”

Again, firstly give yourself the permission to mess-up and secondly give a flying sxxt about what others might think of you.

Instead awaken that little one-year old hero inside yourself that has zero fear of failure and wants to try to do everything regardless of potential consequences. Access that brave little person once again, and you can achieve anything. Heroes do.

“Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’.”

Remember Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid being cornered by the posse? What did they do. They jumped off the cliff and survived. Tough decision? Yes. Big risk of failure? Hell, yeah. But they did something. The alternative would have been procrastinating and slowly starving to death.

Rick in Casablanca woke up from his lethargy and decided to help Elsa getting out of the country, Han Solo decided to sacrifice his life as a smuggler and help the rebellion…they all took risky decisions and did something.

Heroes often put themselves in situations where they simply have to act. In story structure terms, this is called point of no return. Indiana Jones running away from a giant boulder, Luke Skywalker having the Stormtroopers in his back and a giant cliff in front of him or Marty McFly who travelled back to the 1950s and now has to find his way back. All heroes accepted the call to adventure, embarked on their journey and now are in situations in which they simply have to act. There is no room for contemplation or hesitation anymore. Action is critical.

If you ever face a big hurdle in your life which gives you no other choice but to act and overcome, regard that as a blessing. In very tough situations you will have found strengths that you didn´t think you have. Women who gave birth know this feeling too good. Create your very own momentum and point of no return; dive into it.

And always keep in mind that you are the hero of your own life. So, do something. Preferably now. Scrap your wish list and replace it with a do-it-now list. Or as the saying goes, the best time to have planted a tree may have been twenty years ago. The next best time is now. Now.

In case you are stuck with two options you are equally happy with and can`t make a decision…just flip a coin. But make a decision. Accept the fact that a decision for something is most often a decision against something else. Don’t be in a limbo and never ever don’t do anything because you fear you might fail.

Think of what Yoda said in Empire strikes back: “Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’.”

If you can, do the hardest part of the job, the part you are most afraid of, first. Once you climbed the big, scary first hurdle, your confidence is boosted, you come into a nice momentum and you are well prepared for the rest of the journey.

Let unexpected dramas and events turn out. Life has mostly different plans for you than you expected anyway. Did a young farmer called Luke really think that he would have a pivotal role in an intergalactic battle? Definitely not but he did things he didn’t expect he would and followed the path bravely into the unknown.

The credit goes to the one in the arena

Theodore Roosevelt himself put it amazingly well:

“It’s not the critic who counts; Not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit goes to the one who is actually in the arena; Who strives valiantly; who errs and comes up short again and again; Who knows the great devotions, the great enthusiasms, and spends himself in a worthy cause. Who, at the best, knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and, at the worst, if he fails at least he fails while daring greatly; so that his place will never be among those timid and cold souls who know neither victory or defeat.”

Nothing to add, Theo.

Be on the stage and not a bystander. Go out, take decisions and do stuff. And do. And do. And fail. And fail again. Often. Heroes do.

In the end, you will not regret. Promise.