Farish Noor on racism

The following is an excerpt from the book, “Found in Malaysia”, in which Farish Noor was asked about his personal experience with racism. Perhaps because I have a peculiar habit of looking at the past to comprehend the present, I find this interview remarkably relevant to the post-Lowyat discourse. How are we going to respond to an incident like Lowyat, at the personal level and societal level? Our choice may ultimately lies in which Malaysia we would like to help create.

Interviewer: Can you describe one such incident where you encountered racism in Malaysia?

FN: It was actually a series of incidents in Sabah, in my Chinese [Malaysian]-majority school. As I said, I was the only “Malay” [Malaysian] boy in class. In this rather homogeneous ethnic context, the prevailing assumption was that non-Chinese students could not possibly be smarter than Chinese students. Yet I actually managed to turn out the first boy every time.

This irritated one of the Chinese teachers so much that he resorted to marking me down. I would score in the 90s for an exam and he would mark me down to the 60s….the harassment was not merely at that level, it actually degenerated much, much farther.

On one occasion, I was made to clean up vomit from the floor, with my hands, by this teacher. And this teacher, whom I never liked, and who never liked me, then said: “This is how we should treat non-Chinese when we finally rule the country.”

That’s the nasty part. Now here comes the redeeming part. Immediately after this abuse, my Chinese friends were the first to come to ask if I was all right. And I think this raises the question of “how do we deal with racism?”

Because if there’s one thing that irritates me about the discussion of racism in Malaysia, it’s that one side is always seen as the aggressor, and one side is always cast as the victim. And if you are a hybrid like me, then you realize that all sides can be aggressors and all sides can be victims. So I was victimized by Malays and I was victimized by Chinese. But I had Malay friends and Chinese friends.

And the second question it raises, is “how do we deal with racism in the long run?” In the case of this particular teacher who was racist and abusive, even at the age of 10, I realized I could not respond to his racism with my racism because I would merely be repeating the cycle of violence. And I still haven’t forgiven him, but I’m not about to allow this man to dominate my life. In fact, I don’t even remember his name.

It was at the same school that I met the two best teachers in my life. Both were Chinese. Mr Chung, who taught me mathematics, and Mr Sam, who taught me English. And I so admired Mr Chung and Mr Sam that I decided that there was nothing I wanted to be more than a teacher. And if I’m an academic today, it’s thanks to Mr Chung and Mr Sam.

So, the question of racism is always a personal one. How do you deal with it? You can choose to dwell on the worst, or you can choose to focus on the positive. I was in a situation where I could choose to develop profoundly anti-Chinese sentiments for the rest of my life. But I didn’t want that.

And I think that’s how we Malaysians will need to move on. Every Malaysian have a story like this to tell. Because in a sense, the state of racialized politics in Malaysia means we are all victims. So do we choose to live with a discourse of victimhood, or do we grow up, and grow out of this as a nation and embrace the positive that we can find in each other? I chose the latter. That is my personal choice, it is an ethical choice and it is a political choice.