Book Review — The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
At first glance, self-help books seem like a cheat code to life. You’re telling me all I have to do is read a book, then I can fix all the problems in my life, reach enlightenment, and suddenly my life becomes picture perfect? Take my money, I’ll buy it!
On paper (totally pun-intended), it IS a great idea. But there’s a problem.
Most self-help books revolve around being positive in a way that’s simply unrealistic. Be positive, be healthier, be the best, be BETTER than the best, and so on. While that’s the goal for most people, it’s unhealthy because it leads to a constant reminder that you are not good enough in some way. In other words, these books just remind you of what you are not, what you lack, what you should be, but failed to be.
This defeats the whole purpose of a “self-help” book, right?
The truth is, most self-help books feed you pretty little lies to make you feel better in the moment, but in the long run, nothing really changes in your life. If anything, you end up feeling worse than you did before you read that self-help book. Even if you get a full refund after returning the book, those not-so-great feelings still float around inside your head.
Well, as much as I’ve bashed self-help books so far, I’m happy to say that there IS an exception.
Mark Manson takes a different approach to “self-help”. His mindset is simple: Instead of trying to improve yourself in every possible way, you should improve on specific things that really matter to you.
But why? Why should we do less? Why not worry about all our problems and find a way to fix all of them?
It’s simple. To quote Manson: “It causes you to become overly attached to the superficial and fake, to dedicate your life to chasing a mirage of happiness and satisfaction.”
So another idea Manson holds is that sometimes, less is more. I could go on and on, but I digress. Manson’s book is packed with these controversial and opposite ideas, but he explains them clearly in a way that’s easily understandable and relatable. This is why his book is an exception among the vast sea of bland self-help books.
All of his intriguing ideas come together to make up a true masterpiece of a book: “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”.
I finished this amazing book a few days ago, and I will be honest: this book isn’t for everyone.
Instead of comforting you and telling you everything will be okay no matter what, Manson will tell you that everything is NOT okay, but accepting that is okay. Parts of the book will feel like a hard slap to the face, and you’ll feel called out on a lot of things.
It’s essentially the opposite of a fortune cookie. You know, you crack one open, and on that microscopic slip of paper there’s some little insignificant tidbit like “A lifetime of happiness awaits you”. You read it and feel inspired for about four seconds, then life goes on like usual. Nothing changes. Am I really criticizing a fortune cookie? Yes, yes I am.
This book may not be so wholesome and heartwarming, but it will tell you what you need to hear, as much as you don’t want to hear them.
This book is like that one friend who’s honest, brutally honest. Sometimes too honest. There is no sugarcoating. There is no holding back. There is no being nice and telling lies just to avoid hurting your feelings.
And let’s be honest, in a world full of fake people, having these friends is a true blessing. Even if their words make us want to slam our head into a pillow and cry all night.
This book will challenge you to do something about your situation, to take care of yourself, and most importantly, to live your best life. You will have to reflect on some dark things in your life, and you might even go through an existential crisis. But all of this is beneficial, even if it does bruise your ego. The whole point of brutal honesty is to be completely honest and let the truth speak for itself.
If you decide to try out the book, which I highly recommend, keep this in the back of your mind: imagine Mark Manson as that brutally honest friend. He believes in you, he knows what you are capable of, and he knows your friendship can endure his honesty even if you are (initially) hurt by his words.
I got the book on Amazon, and it’s under $20. If you can regularly go to Starbucks and afford that grande iced caramel macchiato with two pumps of vanilla syrup, two pumps of hazelnut syrup, a shot of espresso, whipped cream, and caramel drizzle, then you can spare the money for this book. Sure, that iced caramel macchiato won’t yell at you and tell you all these things to make you question your whole existence, but I promise you that the book is worth every penny.
The truth isn’t always something you want to hear, but let’s be honest, deep down inside, you do appreciate hearing it. And if you want to hear a lot of it, then you should give Mark Manson’s book a try.
Just grab a tissue box in case the truth hits you a little too hard.
