Note #8: Listen for (Bad) Echoes

A tool of the trade

Yes. It’s wise to read a draft of something you’ve written out loud during the editing process. The ear has a way of catching what the eye misses. But what specifically should you be on guard against? One problem to look out for is known as a “bad echo.”

An example is if I start talking about a lasso, and then invoke a scene in Krakow. That inadvertent almost-rhyme, or echo, can trip up the reader, reminding them that they are in fact reading a story — breaking the spell you’ve worked so carefully to cast. It may be a little thing, but fixing it will help hide your presence as a writer below the surface of the text.

Another variant is when the writer uses the same word twice in a clumsy manner: “He felt nervous as the tailor studied the material. The man felt it between his fingers and determined that the bomber jacket was not an original, after all.”

It’s almost surprising how frequently these echoes creep into sentences, like a literary weed. If you identify one of them in your writing, choose a synonym, or rewrite a few clauses. Here’s a quick test. Can you pinpoint the bad echo? (There’s two in each passage.)

a) Xavier walked to the park. Once he found his favorite bench, he sat down to watch a particularly bright bird. He stirred his coffee as he looked on. As a child, he’d seen one just like it. It was mild outside, and he could’ve stayed for hours, watching and remembering.

b) Sarita was perusing the library for a book and when she found one, settled into a nice nook. Her favorite passage detailed a ring-tailed lemur climbing up a tree.

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ANSWER KEY: a)bird, stirred; child, mild b) book, nook; detailed, ring-tailed